Back Funny You Should Ask Save as PDF
Chapters (54)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Epigraph
  5. Prologue
  6. Friday
  7. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part One)
  8. Then
  9. Chapter 1
  10. Chapter 2
  11. Chapter 3
  12. Chapter 4
  13. Chapter 5
  14. Chapter 6
  15. Now
  16. Chapter 7
  17. Chapter 8
  18. Chapter 9
  19. Chapter 10
  20. Saturday
  21. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Two)
  22. Then
  23. Chapter 11
  24. Chapter 12
  25. Chapter 13
  26. Chapter 14
  27. Now
  28. Chapter 15
  29. Chapter 16
  30. Chapter 17
  31. Chapter 18
  32. Sunday
  33. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Three)
  34. Then
  35. Chapter 19
  36. Chapter 20
  37. Chapter 21
  38. Now
  39. Chapter 22
  40. Chapter 23
  41. Chapter 24
  42. Chapter 25
  43. Chapter 26
  44. Chapter 27
  45. Monday
  46. (Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Four)
  47. Then
  48. Chapter 28
  49. Now
  50. Chapter 29
  51. Chapter 30
  52. Dedication
  53. Acknowledgments
  54. About the Author

Even as I do, I’m looking past the layer of grime on every surface. Past the moth-eaten curtains and the well-worn carpet. Past the cracked and crumbling molding on the walls.

I can see intricately carved seats. I can see a beautifully built stage. And when Teddy lets out a short, happy bark, I can hear the incredible acoustics.

It’s a perfect little theatre for a little town. With Gabe’s name behind it, it could bring attention and people to Cooper. He could have as much—or as little—control over the productions as he’d like.

It could be a brand-new classic.

“What do you think?” Gabe asks.

“I think it’s perfect,” I say.

VANITY FAIR

POUR OUT THAT MARTINI:
Gabe Parker Talks Sobriety
[EXCERPT]

BY BETH HUSSEY

We sit down at the restaurant and Gabe Parker orders a big, tall glass of water. It’s his first interview since the former Bond star left the franchise in a spectacular fashion and entered rehab. Twice. And now he’s ready to talk.

“I try not to trade in regrets,” he says. “I’m not proud of the way I did things, but I can’t regret them. Not really. Because, in the end, that’s what pushed me to get help.”

He’s referencing the viral video that leaked from the set of his final Bond film—the one he walked off of. The production had just enough footage to get the movie into theaters, but the last of his four-film contract was terminated immediately, and no other offers have been forthcoming.

Parker is nearing forty and his career is, as of this moment, over.

There are rumors, of course, of projects in the works, but whoever hires him will do so at their own peril.

“I’ll always be an addict,” he says. “But right now, I’m an addict in control of my addiction.”

It remains to be seen if producers will feel the same way.

Chapter 24

Chapter
24

WE GET LUNCH FROM A nearby sandwich place and have a picnic on the stage, our meal illuminated by a ghost light on a stand. The theatre looks even more impressive from this angle.

“It needs a lot of work,” I say.

Gabe shrugs, feeding some sliced turkey to Teddy.

“I have money,” he says. “And a business partner who has even more.”

“Ollie.”

“Ollie,” Gabe confirms.

“That’s what this trip was always about,” I say. “You and Ollie making plans for the theatre.”

Maybe I should feel guilty about monopolizing Gabe’s time, but I don’t.

“Yes and no,” he says. “That was the original plan—meet up with Ollie in L.A. while I’m doing press—and fly back to discuss our next steps.”

“But?”

Gabe turns and grins at me. “Then you showed up at the restaurant with your very big eyes and your smart mouth…”

“And my bad questions?” I ask.