“Well, Gabe is the only person I ever considered for the part of Dex,” Matthias tells me.

“Only because you decided you weren’t going to star in it yourself,” Parker interjects. “We both know you do a much better Cary Grant than I do.”

“That’s the point,” Matthias says. “I didn’t want the movie to be a straight remake of the original. It had to be different.”

The difference is something that’s been long discussed.

“We wanted to update a few things,” Matthias says. “And Gabe brought a lot to the table—especially when it came to the story line between Tracy and her father.”

“It’s horribly sexist and gross,” Parker says. “He blames her for the affair and she apologizes in the end? We thought we could do better.”

I’m not sure fans of the original will agree with such an assessment, but it’s surprising to hear Parker speak so passionately and thoughtfully about the sexism woven throughout the original film.

It’s clear this movie isn’t going to be what audiences expect.

Saturday

(Gabe Parker: Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Two)

BROAD SHEETS

GABE PARKER:
Shaken, Not Stirred—Part Two

BY CHANI HOROWITZ

The world is different on the other side of the velvet rope. Us normals don’t like to hear that, of course. We crave confirmation that stars, well, they’re just like us.

I’m sorry to say but they are not.

Not even close.

You see, when I get ready for a fancy night out, if I’m lucky, I have a friend that can lend me an outfit, help me with my makeup, or even do my hair for me just to make me look like a slightly polished version of my actual self.

When someone like Jacinda Lockwood leaves her million-dollar home to go to the gym, she has a whole team of stylists to make sure that she looks like someone who doesn’t have to go to the gym.

You’ve all seen the pictures by now. Of me standing with Gabe Parker’s arm around my waist, smiling gamely at the crowd in a sparkly blue dress. Go Fug Yourself thinks that I might have chosen the gown to match Gabe’s suit, but that presumes that I knew what Gabe was going to wear (I didn’t) or that I have a closet full of fancy-party dresses to choose from (I don’t).

The matching was just luck.

The whole evening, really, was just luck.

Because, dear readers, you and I both know that I shouldn’t have been there.