What’s wrong—? Oh, Tobey, I have killed for you. There was a time I was ready to die for you. I thought we were true friends in a world of false promises. Proper brothers …

‘Tobey, a little bird tells me that you intend to cut me loose once you’re Prime Minister.’ I had neither the time nor the inclination to beat about the bush. ‘Is that true?’

Tobey straightened up, as did I. We regarded each other and all the years between us fell away to gather lifeless at our feet. We were back in McAuley’s office, standing over him as he lay dying; we were back at the Wasteland, arguing about a dodgy tackle during our regular game of Monday-evening football; we were back to being boys together in primary school, sharing chocolate buttons and swapping comics. Tobey and I and our whole history together had now been condensed into these fraught moments in my study.

‘Well? What the little bird told me, is it true?’

‘A little Bella bird by any chance?’ asked Tobey.

‘She lives with me so you have to expect at least some pillow talk,’ I said deliberately.

Tobey didn’t wince, didn’t flinch; he didn’t even blink.

I persisted. ‘Is that what this is about? You’re looking to cut me loose in retaliation for Bella moving in with me?’

‘Pfft! No skin off my nose. I guess it’s true what they say about cats always landing on their feet. Or on their back, whichever is more comfortable,’ said Tobey, sounding remarkably unconcerned.

‘Is it true?’ I asked again. ‘Will you be making changes once the election is in the bag?’

‘Well, I didn’t want to do this today, but, since you asked, now that you’ve branched out into … let’s call them less savoury, more public pursuits, I can no longer afford to be linked too closely with you, so I’ll be putting my interests under new public-relations management,’ said Tobey. ‘We are and always will be friends, Dan. I owe you a lot, but I don’t owe you my career.’

‘The less savoury pursuits, as you so very quaintly called them, were pursued without my knowledge,’ I protested.

‘But the point is they’re linked to your name and, what’s more, the powers that be know all about them and are gunning for you. I’ve been assured that it’s only a matter of weeks – if that – before they take you down.’

‘Wait just a minute, Tobey—’