‘I want to buy back my business and buy out the mortgage you hold on my home. Everything you own of mine, I want to buy back,’ Kellan continued.

‘Just who is this benefactor of yours?’

Kellan clamped his lips together like a petulant child.

‘When did this angel first get in touch with you?’ I asked.

‘Last week.’

‘By phone? In person? By intermediary? How?’

‘What difference does it make?’ Kellan said with hostility. ‘The point is, I can reclaim everything that was once mine. Everything you took from me.’

‘Not without my agreement you can’t. Just because it was once yours doesn’t mean it stays that way for ever and ever, amen. You sold your shit to me, Kellan. That makes it legally mine, and I have the paperwork and the lawyers to prove it.’

‘I will pay you the market price for my company’s shares and repay you more than my home is worth. I just want to wind the clock back and turn my life around,’ said Kellan.

‘Wouldn’t it be lovely if life had an undo-redo button like that?’ I smiled.

Kellan shook his head. ‘Dan, please. I’m making you a more than fair offer. Please.’

‘Tell me who your sponsor is and I might consider it.’

‘I can’t do that.’

I shrugged. ‘Then I can’t help you. The answer is no.’

‘Please, Dan. This is my last chance to get my wife and children back.’

‘Which part of “no” is confusing you? The N or the O? I’m not selling you one share, one brick, one molecule of air that you previously sold to me. Everything you once owned belongs to me now and that’s the way it’ll stay.’

Kellan stood before me, pure, undisguised hatred freezing on his face. He was not so much shaking as actually vibrating with rage. I couldn’t suppress the smile that played on my lips as I watched. This man truly hated my guts. I had better buckle my breastplate.

‘Serves me right for thinking I could do business with a man like you in the first place,’ said Kellan, bitterness deepening his voice.

‘A man like me?’ I enquired.

Kellan’s eyes narrowed. ‘A money-grubbing, no-class thug who’s read a few books and throws around the odd fancy word or two to try and convince everyone that he’s not the scum-sucking turd he really is.’

My smile broadened. ‘That’s quite accurate actually. No lies detected.’

How fascinating that, in his summation of my many deficient qualities, being a blanker was not mentioned as one of them.