“Axel, I worked the entire summer I was in California and then went through my first semester of med school pregnant. That meant I was cutting up cadavers in Anatomy Lab, trying to hold my breath so I didn’t throw up. Plus, I worked nights at a pathology lab to try and earn some money so I wouldn’t be totally dependent on Beau or Evan. So don’t tell me she can’t work because she’s pregnant. That’s bullshit.”

“I… I didn’t realize.”

“So, if she refuses to work, are you responsible for all her expenses? Car, clothes, groceries, designer bags, plastic surgery, mani/pedis? Because let’s be honest, she looks a bit high maintenance.”

“I was just trying to do the right thing, Blaire.”

“Axel, the right thing would have been to get a lawyer and have a reasonable child support set. You’re not supposed to be responsible for every aspect of Milan’s life. She’s supposed to take care of herself, and you’re supposed to help take care of the child. But she has to contribute, too.”

“But Blaire, you’re so much stronger than she is. You can do anything.”

“Well, I’m not feeling very strong right now. This is so fucked up. At this point, I should be walking out that door.”

Oh, God. No.

“Baby, no. Don’t say that. I love you so much. Please don’t leave me.” I pulled her against me, pressing her face against my chest and kissing her head desperately. “Please, Blaire.”

Her body sagged. “Ax, I really can’t take much more of this. I just want to go to bed.”

I lifted her face to mine and kissed her lips tenderly. “Let me make love to you, sweetheart. I can show you how much I love you.”

I could see the apprehension and fatigue in her big green eyes when she looked up at me. “I’m not in the mood for that. I’m sorry.”

“What would put you in the mood?” I asked, smiling as I dropped kisses all over her face.

“If I could have one whole evening with just you, me, and Carrie. Without you running off to be Milan’s lapdog.” I wanted to yell that I wasn’t a damned lapdog, but I really didn’t want to argue with her anymore. I had done enough to hurt her.

“You got it, sweetheart. Tomorrow night, it will be just us.”

44. Axel

Axel

When I woke up Wednesday morning, Blaire was already gone, and I felt the loss in my bones. I got up and got ready for practice with our argument from last night weighing heavily on my mind. It had been fucking awful. I hated fighting with her, but I hated that I had made her feel like I was choosing Milan over her even more. Tonight would be different. I would show her how much I loved her.