“I’m not done yet. Four, I demand that she have a pussy that tastes like sunshine.” That one made her giggle. “Number five, she needs to be able to suck the chrome off a bumper.” My God, Blaire could give good head. “And six, she has to love it when I stick my finger in her ass.”

Blaire burst out laughing. “Oh my God! Please stop talking now. I can’t deal with your dumb ass.”

“I’ve verified the first three traits, and I’m hoping to have confirmation on the other three by morning,” I said with mock seriousness. “But for now, I’ll just call you my interim girlfriend.”

“Well, that’s not insulting at all,” she said, pursing her full, pink lips at me.

“Don’t worry. I have full confidence you’ll be promoted soon.”

“That’s a relief,” she said, and her sarcasm wasn’t lost on me.

Then I asked the question I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to. “So, you said Evan dated some. What about you?”

She shrugged and started eating again. “I dated a guy, Mark, my third year in med school. He was nice, but I ended up breaking it off with him after a few months.”

Just one guy? Thank God! Though I wanted to punch Mark in his nice Marky face. “Why would you break it off if he was nice?” I didn’t mean to sneer that last word, but I did.

She paused before looking over at me and saying, “Because he wasn’t you.”

Okay. Wow.

“So, we were kinda waiting for each other, huh?”

Blaire rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t exactly say you were waiting for me while you fucked your way across America, Ax.”

I lifted her chin with my knuckle. “Hey, none of them meant a thing to me, Blaire. It was just sex. Just to fill a need. There was no emotion whatsoever. You understand needing sex, right?”

She averted her eyes, watching her plate intently as she dragged her chopsticks haphazardly through her rice. “I guess.”

“I mean, you had sex while we were apart, right?”

“Once,” she said. “With Mark.” Yeah, Mark was definitely getting an ass whooping once I picked my jaw up off the floor. Once? In five fucking years? “The rest of the time I used BOB,” she said.

“Well, who the fuck is Bob?” I yelled.

She giggled. “Battery Operated Boyfriend. BOB.”

“Soooo, like a, um…” I waved my hand around vaguely.

“A vibrator,” she confirmed. “BOB was an excellent friend to me for years.”

“Well, you can just throw BOB’s ass right in the fucking trash,” I mumbled, feeling a little stupid that I was jealous of a goddamned vibrator.

25. Axel

Axel

“Help me clear this stuff up, and then I have a surprise for you.”