‘Guys, look, I can’t stop you from going to the police and reporting it but please don’t mention me. Say Ryan got him back, leave me out of it.’

‘But you saved him,’ Jayde wept, cuddling a sleeping Sansa closely. ‘Ryan said if it wasn’t for you…’ Now she couldn’t finish her sentence either. ‘I can’t think about it.’

‘They might give you a reward,’ said Ryan, more to the back of the seat in front of him than to me.

‘I’ve had my reward,’ I said. ‘He’s back safe. I don’t need anything else.’

And I meant it. I sat and watched the countryside ribbon past my window, sunshine streaming in, bathing my body in warm gold, my gusset still damp from the beautiful moment I thought I was killing her.

Maybe I had. Maybe she’d gone around the corner and collapsed. A bleed on the brain. I liked to think so.

At the ABBA tribute dinner and dance in the posh Schooner Restaurant that evening, after we’d all watched the ship pull out of La Spezia, bound for Rome, talk of my heroism had spread like a fire in a trickle of gasoline. Before long, people were lining up to say ‘well done’ or buy me drinks. Dennis flexed big time and bought me a pearl necklace from the ship shop.

‘That’s $200’s worth of Majorica pearls, that is,’ he announced proudly so everyone in a three-metre radius could hear. He’d left the price on the box as well, in case anyone missed it.

‘Thanks so much, Dennis. This is… lovely. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather receive a pearl necklace from.’

He blushed, as Lynette piped up, ‘You more than deserve it. It’s a shame yer young man couldn’t come down. We’d like to meet him.’

‘Bruce? Yeah, he had a bad prawn. Can’t seem to shake it out of his system, the poor lamb. Maybe tomorrow.’

Sansa was in a high chair, being fed bits of turkey and chunks of potato by Ken and Gloria. Jayde and Ryan were either side of Ty who was sitting there like a little prince, being kissed every so often, his every whim being catered for, his every toy out on the table, every question answered.

‘Mum, why did that lady take me?’ ‘Dad, why did that lady smell funny?’ ‘Daddy, why did Hilly hurt the lady?’ ‘Is the lady dead now?’ ‘Nanny, can I have the cherry in your drink?’ ‘Grandad, what’s an ABBA?’

It made me happy and sad to see them all fussing over him. Happy, sad, violent, calm – I was like a bubble in a spirit level, impossible to get dead centre.

‘Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,’ said Gloria, folding her napkin. ‘This wouldn’t have happened if he’d been on reins.’