‘So what did he leave you? In the box? What did he put in there? Is it money? It’s money, isn’t it?’ He nods towards the cardboard box next to me.

‘Oh, this isn’t it,’ I say. ‘I haven’t checked it yet. This is something else.’

‘Oh God, this is amazing. Can I come with you? To open it?’

‘Nope.’

‘Aww come on.’ Freddie sat back in his seat, staring at my crap hand. I held it out so he could inspect it more closely.

‘Occupational therapy is helping a lot. I can do this now.’ I lift my second finger a juddery inch off the table top, then slowly another inch, until it falls by its own accord. Freddie looks at me before carefully moving back my sleeve to see the raggedy scar all along my wrist. ‘I know, Frankenstein much?’

‘I can’t believe they stitched it back on.’

‘I got lucky.’ The diamond shone on my fourth finger, right on cue. ‘We went back down to Rocas Calientes in November, for the Dia de los Muertos celebrations… that’s where we got engaged.’

‘Congratulations.’

‘It was incredible. The road all the way up to the cemetery was paved with a thick carpet of orange marigold petals and lit by tiny candles. They all sang in Spanish. Everyone brought gifts for the dead and painted their faces and dressed up in colourful clothes. We hung paper decorations from the trees and danced in that cemetery all night long. Every tombstone was lit with candles and colour. Kind of reframed death for me. Having a family has reframed everything for me. People I love. People who love me. Killing isn’t as important anymore. I know what’s important now.’

‘Any sign of Tenoch?’

‘Nope. The Hacienda’s all boarded up and there’s talk of auctioning it off for the locals. Rumour has it he escaped through tunnels he’d dug out beneath the temazcal – where he’d buried his stash.’

‘Wow.’

I can’t help smiling. ‘I know. Total Shawshanker.’

‘Did you hear that Craig got engaged too?’

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘That weathergirl, wasn’t it? Soapy Titwanks.’

Freddie laughs. ‘Sophie Cruikshanks.’

The accompanying picture to their exclusive interview on the OK! site was of a bride and groom jumping on a trampoline – the bouquet in mid-air between their cheesy expressions, her subheading that Craig was ‘her world’. I barely recognised Craig – he’d put on so much weight. I knew he was getting his dick shined by some ho cos I’d seen him on Up at the Crack weeks earlier, going all coy about the ‘new lady in his life’. I hadn’t realised it was so serious.

‘How do you feel about that?’ asks Freddie.