‘Headless down a fuckin’ storm drain, I hope.’ I could tell me and Liv were going to get on like a house on fire. ‘But now he’s got no pension, no references, and he’s living back with Mom and Dad.’ She sipped her drink, like she was sipping the proverbial tea. ‘He’s desperate for someone in his life. Someone he can protect, look after. Do you really like him? Honestly?’

‘Yeah. I do. Honestly.’

‘But?’

‘There’s no but.’

‘He said you wanna take things slow. We talk. He tells me stuff.’

‘I don’t… want him to let me down.’

‘You mean you’ve been fucked around before and you don’t want him to do the same thing to you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, he has trust issues too. But I haven’t seen him this in love with someone since Cuntasaurus. And look how she treated him.’

‘I want to be better for him. I didn’t… handle the last break up well.’

‘Don’t let one bitch colour the whole scene,’ she said, her green-taloned hand emphatically slicing the air between us. ‘Don’t let it ruin you for all other relationships. Trust me, I’ve been there. I tried to find someone as devoted and loyal as my brothers for years and I thought: nah, they’re regular one-offs, like my dad. This was before I met Edouardo at Nico’s gym. I wanted to be better for him too. He helped me get down to my goal weight.’

‘You mean thinner,’ I muttered.

Her husband climbed the pool steps and grabbed his towel from a sun-lounger and gave her a wink. They fist bumped.

‘Imma grab a cold one,’ he said.

‘OK. I’ll be in soon, babe.’

‘Don’t be long. And don’t drink too many cocktails – it’s empty calories.’ He blew her a kiss. She smacked her cheek with it.

I could have smacked him sideways.

Liv turned to me when he’d gone. ‘Since meeting you, Rafa’s actually smiled. I’d forgotten what his smile looked like! We’ve all seen the change in him. Sal says he comes down here all the time, looking for you.’

‘I know.’

She put her arm behind her head again, a different arm, revealing another batch of bruises. She saw me looking at them and lowered it quickly to scratch her thigh. ‘Mosquito bites. Little shits can’t get enough of me.’

My stomach flipped over.

‘So,’ she said, pointing a long green fingernail at me as she sat up on the edge of her lounger, ‘I’ll only say this once to you: if you break my brother’s heart or mess him around or act all demanding and shit – like, if you are Cuntasaurus 2: Reloaded – let it be known that I will take your life.’

‘Seems fair to me.’