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Back Daughter of Eden
Chapters (68)
  1. Title page
  2. Dedication
  3. Part I
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. Fourteen
  18. Fifteen
  19. Sixteen
  20. Seventeen
  21. Eighteen
  22. Nineteen
  23. Twenty
  24. Twenty-one
  25. Twenty-two
  26. Twenty-three
  27. Twenty-four
  28. Twenty-five
  29. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 20. 20:25 MT.
  30. Part II
  31. Twenty-six
  32. Twenty-seven
  33. Twenty-eight
  34. Twenty-nine
  35. Thirty
  36. Thirty-one
  37. Thirty-two
  38. Thirty-three
  39. Thirty-four
  40. Thirty-five
  41. Thirty-six
  42. Thirty-seven
  43. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 22. 20:05 MT.
  44. Thirty-eight
  45. Thirty-nine
  46. Forty
  47. Forty-one
  48. GAIA YOUNG. SUBJECTIVE IMPRESSIONS.MISSION DAY 25. 15:30 MT.
  49. Forty-two
  50. Forty-three
  51. Forty-four
  52. Forty-five
  53. Forty-six
  54. Forty-seven
  55. Forty-eight
  56. Forty-nine
  57. Fifty
  58. Fifty-one
  59. Fifty-two
  60. Fifty-three
  61. Fifty-four
  62. Part III
  63. Fifty-five
  64. Fifty-six
  65. Fifty-seven
  66. Fifty-eight
  67. Also by Chris Beckett
  68. Copyright page

‘When your stomach is sick,’ Mary would sometimes say, ‘the sickness seems to fill up the world, and it’s hard to hold in your mind that you’ll soon be well again. When you’re cold, it’s hard to believe you’ll ever be warm. When you’re lonely, you feel like you’ll never have friends. But these things do pass, and so will the sadness of Eden, just as long as you stay strong, and believe in Mother Gela.’

By the time we reached Veeklehouse, the better part of a year had gone by since we were last there. It was still only the third time I’d ever visited the place, but I knew from the last time that when you went away from a place, it stored up all the feelings you had when you were there before, and gave them back to you again when you returned, all at once, all wrapped up together. And they were lonely feelings that Veeklehouse had been keeping for me, not just from the first time when Starlight left me there, and all the excitement we’d shared about going there had all turned to grief, but from that time a year ago, when I’d got that news of Starlight and then had no one to share it with. Here was the shame I’d felt about not being truthful with Mary. Here was anger at Mary – I’d hardly noticed it at the time, but here it was – for not being the kind of person I could just talk to about Starlight, without it being all complicated and hard. And here was doubt and worry too, about whether I’d done the right thing to leave my home and give up all my family and friends for the sake of this one single person who I was afraid to share things with that I’d happily have shared with anyone on Knee Tree Grounds.

Mary was tired tired from travelling, and from a long string of shows with hardly a break between them, and she lay down for a rest. Straight away I hurried to the cliff as I’d done last time. I knew I’d never tell Mary where I’d been or why – she’d have seen no good reason for talking to Johnfolk, unless I was trying to persuade them to come back to True Family – and I felt badly about that, but I went anyway. There was a part of me, it seemed, that just didn’t fit in with how Mary wanted me to be. There were hungers that Mary couldn’t feed, and wouldn’t even recognize as being real.

I soon found some traders over from New Earth, and I got talking to one of their paddle-men. He had clawfeet, like my Dave, but his arms were thick and strong. Being a paddle-man is a good job for someone who can barely walk.