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Back Counting Down with You Save as PDF
Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Praise
  4. Booklist
  5. Dedication
  6. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  7. Part 1
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. Part 2
  28. 20
  29. 21
  30. 22
  31. 23
  32. 24
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. Part 3
  43. 34
  44. 35
  45. 36
  46. 37
  47. 38
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. 49
  59. 50
  60. 51
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

“Karina!” Ace calls after me. I can’t see his face, but he sounds distraught.

I swallow roughly but don’t look back. I don’t have the strength to face him. I don’t have the strength to face anyone.

Even after everything, I still want to be with Ace. That’s the one thing I’m certain of. But I can’t right now. I need time to sew up the gaping wound in my chest, to find a way to grapple with the future I’ve lost.

By the time Italian rolls around, I have no choice but to see Cora and Nandini.

They’re waiting for me outside the classroom. As soon as I see them, my hearts starts racing impossibly fast. I don’t want to explain. I don’t want to do anything.

“Karina,” Nandini says, reaching for me and pulling me into her arms. I comply, mostly because I don’t want to make an even bigger scene. “What’s going on?”

I shake my head and take a shaky breath, my nose buried in her neck. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. “Please don’t make me talk about it.”

“Was it—was it Ace?” Cora asks in concern, wrapping her arms around both of us, maneuvering us into a three-way hug. “Do I have to kill him? He seemed worried but that doesn’t mean anything. I can sharpen my knives within the hour.”

I wish I could smile. I wish I had the energy.

“It was my parents,” I say, and that’s as much of an explanation as I’m willing to offer. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Cora says and hugs me even tighter.

The bell rings and we huddle through the door, pulling apart. They’re both watching me in worry, and I love them for it, even if I’m not in the headspace to react properly.

“If you need anything, we’re here,” Nandini says in a hushed voice, squeezing my hand. “Anything at all. We love you.”

“Anything,” Cora agrees, squeezing my other hand.

I nod and look away. “Thank you.”

Class passes by in a blur. Nandini and Cora keep shooting me looks—I can feel them—but I don’t look back. I can’t.

When ninth period comes, I head for Miss Cannon’s classroom. There’s still one thing left to do.

50

T-PLUS 1 DAY

When I get home, I have multiple texts from Ace. I don’t want to look at them but he deserves better than that. I have to say something, if not everything.

He deserves that much.

I light a candle and brace myself to look through the messages.

Ace Clyde :

are you okay?

Ace Clyde :

what’s wrong? pls talk to me?

Ace Clyde :

miss C said you canceled our tutoring sessions for good.

Ace Clyde :

pls just text me back

Ace Clyde :

karina please

Me: