BooksBarbecue
Back Counting Down with You
Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Praise
  4. Booklist
  5. Dedication
  6. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  7. Part 1
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. Part 2
  28. 20
  29. 21
  30. 22
  31. 23
  32. 24
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. Part 3
  43. 34
  44. 35
  45. 36
  46. 37
  47. 38
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. 49
  59. 50
  60. 51
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I talked to my parents and they said I can’t be an english major. I don’t want to talk about it. please leave me alone for now

Ace Clyde :

that’s bullshit wtf i’m so sorry

Ace Clyde :

is there anything i can do?

Ace Clyde :

pls talk to someone if not me

Ace Clyde :

what does ur dadu think?

Ace Clyde :

karina...

Me:

ace please drop it I can’t do this rn

Me:

can we pause for a few days? just until I get my head on straight. I need some time

Me:

this is a line for me please please please don’t cross it

Ace Clyde :

okay i won’t

Ace Clyde :

even if we’re on pause i’m always here if you need anything

Ace Clyde :

just lmk

I throw my phone away and bury my face in my pillows. The future looks bleak.

I hate it but I’m helpless to it.

T-PLUS 5 DAYS

The week passes in a haze. Oscar Wilde once said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” I’ve never more thoroughly understood the sentiment than right now.

I’m just existing. My body goes through the motions, but my brain barely processes them.

Everyone around me is worried. I know it as well as I know the back of my hand.

Samir checks in on me every night and finds an excuse to do his homework in my room. He tries to broach the subject of our parents, but after I shut him down for the third time, he settles for providing silent comfort. It’s nice to know he’s stayed true to being in my corner, but it doesn’t make the situation better.

Cora and Nandini follow me around protectively even when I’m despondent and unresponsive. Ace watches me constantly and texts me near as often. He doesn’t ask about my parents, but he does ask about me. Every day, I get a variation of How are you doing? interspersed with random updates about his day, even though I rarely reply.

Miss Cannon looks at me with a crease in her brow every time I walk into English. Ever since I told her I had to quit tutoring Ace because of a family issue, she’s been concerned. She offered to talk to my parents, but my vehement refusal stopped her. However, with each passing day she looks like she regrets that decision more and more.

I even go to Pre-Med Society once. I end up leaving halfway through, unable to stomach that this is my future now, that this is really happening.

With each passing day, my heart cracks a little more.