They came pushing and shoving and noisy along the lane just as I got past the big hayfield that ran along the side of the road. I got a smattering of kisses and hugs and far too many tickles to make me scream and threaten them with a good slap. That made them laugh; they’d never been smacked in their whole lives. Their beautiful faces were his, the big shoulders and long legs all his, and I loved them so, loved the perfection of them, I had to stop myself kissing them half to death. When we were in sight of the red roof on the milk house, Eugene took off and started running for the door with me among them, all of us like children.

It was a sight to see when all four of them collided on the street, hugging and shouting and ragging each other. Before he knew it, poor Daniel was lifted shoulder-high and run at some speed towards the river. He managed to wriggle free and I could see him pretending to throw punches and karate kicks before they all piled in on top of him again. All I could hear was laughter, even though every face was under someone else’s backside! I ran down to break them up, picking up a stray shoe here and there as they scattered and ran for the water. Buck naked to a man, they jumped in screaming.

I stayed a safe distance from the bank and soaked up their enjoyment and love. Shane climbed out and grabbed for his shirt to cover himself.

–  Where’s Da? Did he say when he would be here?

–  He’s at the mart, said he wouldn’t be too late.

We stayed down by the water for an hour or so, lying around, chatting about Serena mostly, how well she was doing, how happy. Marius said her paintings were great, huge monochrome flowers. Eugene said they were shite. The other two laughed along, the twins could argue over what way the world was turning. There was still no sign of a boyfriend to replace the last one but it wasn’t bothering Serena too much. She had sent me a present, they said, and so we headed up the river field through the delicate stalks of white cow parsley and purple heads of wild angelica.

Marius handed me a cardboard tube before he walked away with his holdall to the bedroom at the back of the barn he had shared with Eugene. I pulled out a heavy paper roll and unfurled it to see myself. She had drawn me with my back against the wall of Johns Farm but I was staring off to the side. It was a striking resemblance, right down to the nervous meeting of the tips of my fingers. I touched it and some of the charcoal came away. I would fade with time.