A storm of activity blew us towards April. I cooked for the men who were laying blocks; John just gave me the number of mouths as he dropped off the groceries. I stretched spuds and meat the length of the table and he hardly acknowledged that I was in the room. I was an apron and gloves, nothing more.

Often, Bridie and me would have to do with fried eggs on toast if too many men showed up with big appetites. Serena knew what side her bread was buttered! She had her dinner straight off Dada’s plate, robbing his carrots and peas as he laughed at her antics and hugged her on his knee. The resentment wrapped itself around my neck like a thick wool sock coated with Vicks.

By the by, the shed was up, the beef cows bought and life resumed its slower pace for a solitary week before it was time to flit out of Johns Farm by travelling a full two hundred yards: the caravan was coming! Moving day was set and Bridie and me had to pack up all our worldly possessions in readiness. I pulled out my suitcase and shoved the pink wedding suit and plastic shoes into a rubbish bag without a second glance. Joe Loughrey’s face materialised in front of my eyes but I shut them quickly and locked him out. Had he forgotten about me overnight or had it taken him a week or two? It didn’t matter now. There was an ocean between us.

Serena laid claim to Blue Ted when he was fetched out of the gloom at the back of the wardrobe shelf; she put him in Bosco’s lap and wheeled them both off in her pram. Toys shouldn’t be left all alone, she said to me, cross as you please. Bad Mammy! I watched her straight little back and dancing ponytail skip away from me through the light at the half-door. She was more like John Johns with every day that passed.

When Bridie went to pack up the jams and pickles from the scullery, she says to me, you can pack John’s room, as if it was nothing.

–  I’m not sure that’s a great idea, Bridie. Surely John wouldn’t want me in there poking about? You know what he’s like?

–  I do, pet, I do, but there’s a pile of stuff in there and I’m not able for it – so you’d better have a go. When he lands back tonight with the caravan it’ll be late and he wants an early start tomorrow when Matthew and a few of the other lads show up to set the wheels in motion.