I stayed mute through the rescues by the handsome, heroic men and the happily-ever-afters. Every night, Serena picked a different one to be when she grew up. I nodded at her while wishing they’d rot inside their glass coffins and wither in their ivory towers. I was heartily sick of all the silky-maned little waifs. I kept a close watch on Serena’s eyelashes and willed them to flutter shut.

When he left the Lower Room he said goodnight and I said the same and I never followed him back to the kitchen, summer or winter. Sometimes I heard him and Bridie talking low in front of the range, oftentimes not. In that way, we got through the long and short evenings well enough. I’d stopped bothering to think about when it would end, about when I’d start up my own life again. I knew it would be one day.

It was Serena who John Johns was worried about, and her alone, when he decided to go back to England for a year. The money was good and, as things were hotting up between the RUC and the local boys, it was a sensible time to get out. Talks of raids and beatings and days without news of whether a son or brother was safe or not did the rounds. It made Bridie shake in her shoes and reach for her rosary beads.

The letter asking him to be foreman on a job had arrived on a Friday and by the Monday John had made his decision. He apologised to me because he knew it would be hard on Serena, she wouldn’t be able to understand why he’d gone but he would be in touch with her as soon as he could. It’s best to do these things without much warning, Mary. I said yes, yes of course. I’d had enough plasters ripped off to know he was right.

In the space of a few days he had organised Arthur Rowley to help me with the morning milking a few days a week, Matthew could be relied on for heavy work and I would do everything else. Bridie would look after my daughter. Eileen would do the shopping and collect the Family Allowance at the post office. Don’t forget your father is only up the lane, too, said John Johns and I tried not to laugh. Daddy wasn’t exactly my friend in need. Was there anything I wanted to ask? Was there anything I wanted to know? There wasn’t so I just nodded and chewed my lip.