‘I’m saying that I’ve treated you badly and I can’t even begin to find the words to tell you how much I regret that. I promise that I’m not about to have another wobbly. I promise that I’ve come to terms with losing Nikki and the baby. I promise I’m not going to run away again. I love you, Jemma. Will you give me another chance?’

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply.

‘Jemma? Was it too much?’

I shook my head. ‘It was lovely. It really was. But the answer has to be no.’

Sam stared at me for a moment before nodding. He looked out towards the sea again. ‘Did I screw up that badly?’

‘No! It’s not that at all. I want to say yes. I really do. It’s just that… Well, there are practicalities for a start. I live here and you live in London. I know you don’t like it there but you yourself said that your job is there and there aren’t any vacancies up here. I spent eighteen months having a distance relationship with Scott. It was really hard but I did it because I loved him and trusted him. Then I found out he was married. It was too easy for him to lead a double life when geography and work kept us apart. I trust you, Sam. I really do. Even if I hadn’t seen you walk away from Kirsty when she was half-naked and throwing herself at you, I’d have still trusted you and I’d trust you if we had a distance relationship. At first. But then the doubts would creep in. What’s Sam doing during this week? Who’s he out with? Are they really just friends? I don’t want to become that person. I can’t become that person. It would break us apart. I’ve never been the jealous suspicious type but I think I would be now, thanks to Scott. You know what it’s like getting over your partner’s infidelity. You had that with Kirsty. You knew you couldn’t get back with her because you’d be asking those same sort of questions.’ I chewed on my thumbnail. ‘I’m sorry, Sam, but I can’t do it.’

A sudden gust of wind whipped my coat hood up over my head. Sam leaned forward and gently pushed it down again. I held my breath and closed my eyes as his hand brushed past my cheek. I wanted to turn my head into his palm and kiss his hand but I had to stay strong. I had to finish this.

He lowered his hand again and I released my breath. ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome. I can add hood lowering to my list of services.’

‘You’re very good at it.’ He held my gaze and my stomach fizzed again. Damn it!