She got a tattoo of a ladybird on her left ankle. I thought the design was a little childish but I told her it was great, even though I worried about how it might age. There is something poignant, sad almost, about the maturity process and the way a tattoo moves with it and seems to fade in its own way, its earlier glory reduced to nothing, and it becomes a mere mark by which a loved one can identify you when you’re dead. The tattoo fades away and becomes discoloured with it, I wasn’t sure if I wanted that for Jenny. I didn’t wish her to effectively ruin her beautiful blank canvas but I was careful not to appear negative. It was her body after all.

Everything about her mattered. I was putting so much energy into the relationship but I was careful not to come across too heavy, just enough.

She cut a fringe and dyed her hair jet black, without warning me. The first I knew of it was at the opening night of a club in the grounds of the film centre in Temple Bar. The place was full of noise, people squealing when they bumped into people that they knew and the satisfaction that they had been noticed. It was about being seen and in a way, it was pathetic.

I thought the new haircut was really becoming on her and that’s what I told her. I managed to say the words without coming across as being disgruntled. I didn’t want words to carry any dysfunctional weight. I was really pissed off that she had gone behind my back like that, it was I considered a pretty dramatic decision. But I didn’t say that, instead I talked about glamour and initiative and I told her that she looked so good and she kissed me as I spoke. A couple of her old college friends were there so I didn’t make a fuss.

Jenny had recently graduated from art college and she worked part-time in a café on George’s Street. It had a great outdoor eating area, which was quite unusual in Dublin then – al fresco dining was generally a magnet for junkies to approach unsupervised belongings but this place wasn’t like that. In any case Jenny didn’t really care what she did, she had her eye on the prize – getting her art recognized.