I leaned over to her and started to kiss her and I was tender, as tender as I dared, and I felt her reaction to my touch to be natural and she really wanted this, God I could feel it. I removed her knickers and I moved on top of her, on the chair. It was a bit awkward and after a while Jenny told me to get off her because she was becoming claustrophobic. I lay on my back on the floor of the studio and she lay beside me and I felt in between her legs and it was the right thing to do because I could hear her groan. I had never before felt so close to what I believed to be primal and when I came, I wanted to shout but somehow manged to suppress the urge.

The floor consisted of sheets of plywood covered with a slate grey floor paint. I was on a section where one sheet of wood joined another and the seam was digging into my back. I didn’t care because Jenny’s naked skin was against mine and her smell and her loveliness was all over me. I whispered into her ear that I loved her and when she said it back the importance of it felt magnified. I said again that I was sorry for hurting her earlier on – I merely wanted her to be ready, that was all.

It was getting on and I suggested that we change our plans for the evening. We had missed our early bird booking at the Mermaid, the launch on Strand Street would be winding down – it was past seven. But when I saw that this wasn’t what she wanted to hear from me I told her to get dressed. We would go to the gallery, but we had to hurry.

Jenny got ready. She looked so beautiful and I told her so but she laughed it off. I thought how impressive it is to be so unaware of your own beauty. If Brian could see me with Jenny. I knew that he would have considered her beautiful. Brian, who had practised his sexual exploits with the Spanish girls that came to Ireland to learn English in July and August. Brian, who imagined that he would marry a Spanish girl because he thought that Irish girls weren’t pretty enough. How I would have loved Brian to have been alive so I could introduce him to Jenny, so he could see how beautiful Irish girls could be.

37. The Grange

August 2017