Cover

About the Author

Catherine Talbot lives in Dublin with Dara and their two young children. She is a recent graduate of Trinity College, Dublin, where she completed an MPhil in Creative Writing. Catherine has had several short stories published, in Banshee Literary Journal and the anthology Still Worlds Turning. A Good Father is her first novel.

Dedication

To my parents, Anne and Peter, and my husband, Dara

Epigraph

It is possible to have an overwhelming love.

1. Can Anybody Hear Me?

December 2016

By the end of next summer, before the kids go back to school, I will kill my family.

After I kill them, I will cry bitterly and make some freshly squeezed orange juice using the electric fruit juicer that I bought in Lidl with my daughter, Maeve. It cost €13.99. We made juice as a family every morning for two weeks, but after the initial healthy buzz, we kept forgetting to buy oranges. After I make the juice, I will put on my Lycra training gear and run up and down the Cat’s Ladder (my favourite set of steps) for a while. I often meet other like-minded people there, covered in Lycra. When I finish on the steps, I’ll make my way up to the Obelisk at the top of Killiney Hill.

Once there, I’ll see Dalkey Island set majestically, frozen to my left, and the long sweep of Killiney beach on my right. I’ll squint and make out the shaft of light that marks the beginning of the tunnel through Bray Head to Greystones. I’ll allow myself a moment to consider the similarity between the beaches in Killiney and Greystones. And wonder, as I always do, why I have never set foot on Dalkey Island, despite its proximity. I’ll start on my set of stretches taught to me by my friend Maurice, who helps me out with the under-elevens football team that I coach, mainly because my twin sons, Mikey and Joey, are on the team. These stretches encourage my muscles to retract to the place where they are more comfortable. I’ll be aware of my breathing, and if it’s sunny, I’ll be able to feel a warmth on my back while pondering why I couldn’t get rid of myself. This will provide me with the complete understanding that I am a coward. In the rural parts of this country, men who perform such acts on their families generally finish themselves off. But the truth is that they often have far better access to more suitable tools – a shotgun for starters. I might well consider how many times I have studied Jenny’s woodcutting implements and wondered if they would be suitable for inflicting sufficient self-damage. But I know that long ago, I came to the conclusion I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.