Forcing down a few more mouthfuls, I continue my walk towards the hotel. I used to love taking business trips, but they’re less enjoyable now, more effortful. For years I revelled in the feeling of importance as I boarded the plane, pulled out my laptop and ordered a glass of champagne. I’d delight in staying in fancy hotels in different cities surrounded by complete strangers. My friends were jealous – they said it often enough – and I was pleased because I wanted them to envy me a little. The way I envied them.

Mags who wears her uncomplicated heart on her sleeve. She’s convinced all human beings have the ability to be kind and compassionate, and she’ll look for the positive in anyone. If I could have even half of her belief in love and goodness, I’d be content.

Lily knows who she is. No questions, no blurry areas. She says to the world, “This is me and I like who I am, and I’m not going to change for anyone, so fuck you.” God, to feel like that for a few moments… Not to question everything about myself on a daily basis.

And Emma is the fearless one, the one who will take risks. Maybe she’ll fail, but she’ll keep going. And she has parents who would do anything for her, a child to bring joy to her life and a boyfriend who adores her.

Then there’s me. The jet-setter. The blonde with the big tits. The smart one. The one who plays the field and never lets her feelings get the better of her.

Before I realize what I’ve done, the entire cake has disappeared down my gullet. I feel gross. Utterly gross and utterly alone in a city packed with petite people.

I slam the offending empty box into a rubbish bin outside my hotel, ignore the doorman, stride across the foyer and punch the button on the lift in an unladylike and undignified manner. It helps a little.

On reaching my floor, I scowl at the slim, flat-chested young maid folding towels on a trolley in the hallway and charge past her to my room.

“Trish.”

I turn to see Scott walking towards me and fold my arms. I haven’t got time for him today. Him or anyone else.

“How was the meeting?” he asks.

I know I should return his smile, but I can’t. “Fine.”

His smile falls away. “Everything all right?”

“Were you looking for me or did you just happen to be walking on my floor?” Jesus, can’t the man leave me alone?

Scott hesitates, opens his mouth and closes it again.

“I saw you getting into the lift and… I was going to ask you something, but I’m pretty confident now isn’t a good time. Sorry to bother you.”

He backs up a couple of steps.

“What?” I blurt.

He studies me for a second, then sighs loudly.