Mags leaps to her feet. “I’ll get her,” she says, practically running from the kitchen.

Smiling, I take a large bite of chocolate brownie. Breastfeeding is hungry work.

“How was your visit from Will?” Mags asks, walking back in with Rose nestled in her arms.

Rose looks like she can’t decide if she wants to wake up or not and I reckon I’ve got a few more minutes before she demands another go at the milk machine.

“Great. Tilly came, too. She was so excited to hold her little cousin.”

“I bet.”

I open my mouth to say more but close it again. I was about to mention a part of my conversation with Will I’m doing my best to forget. Apparently, Mum’s been ringing him every few days since Dad’s funeral asking if she can come and visit me. Mum hasn’t made any attempt to see me since I left home. Also, why go through Will? She could have asked for my phone number and called me. Why the sudden interest now? It’s not like Mum’s going to be a doting grandmother – or doting mother, for that matter.

“Phoebe and I broke up,” says Mags, smiling goofily at Rose as she gently rocks her.

“Oh no, I’m sorry.”

Mags shrugs. “It’s OK. If I’m honest, we didn’t actually get on that well once I got over the infatuated stage.”

“She seemed to make you happy.”

Mags frowns. “Actually, I think it was finally being myself that made me happy. Now that I’ve embraced the fact I’m gay, and my friends and family are being so supportive, I feel like I’m comfortable being in my own skin at last. I know who I am, if that makes sense.”

“Totally.”

We smile at each other.

“Love you,” I say, blowing my friend a kiss.

Rose has her eyes closed, but she’s started to do that thing with her lips where she’s searching for milk. I wolf down the rest of my brownie, knowing I’m on borrowed time.

“Has Scott been to visit?” Mags asks in a tone she’s trying to make sound casual and we both know is anything but.

“No. Why?”

“Just thought he might have been. You never did tell us what was going on there.”

“Because there’s nothing to tell. He’s a friend, Mags.”

Mags snorts. “Trish, that’s a load of bollocks and we both know it.”

Rose has her eyes open now and her face is screwed up ready to cry. Mags hurriedly hands her to me and I get Rose latched on, wincing as she begins to suck at my painful nipples.

“Can I get you anything?” Mags asks, consternation on her face.

“A new body,” I mutter, and for a moment the darkness I felt last night returns.