I can’t explain how pathetic I feel as she looks at me like I’m the devil. It was a game back then. I wish I could change it. If I’d known what Kat would mean to me, I’d have put a ring on her finger the moment I laid eyes on her. I never would have done anything to risk what we had. Lies. So many lies, a voice in the back of my mind whispers. If that was the truth, I wouldn’t have needed to call Samantha with my eyes on a lifeless body in the corporate hotel room. If she knew everything, she’d hate me.

“I messed up and I made a lot of mistakes,” I say and lean toward her, but she’s not having it.

“How many women have you fucked since I’ve been with you?” Her voice is hard and full of nothing but bitterness.

“Just her, just Samantha and just that once. Please, Kat.” My voice begs her for mercy as I lean forward but she’s quick to stand up, nearly toppling the chair over just so she can get away from me.

Regret consumes me. I wish I hadn’t told her. Fuck. I don’t know what to wish for anymore.

I swallow thickly and try to remember everything else I was going to say and the point of bringing up the past. “It’s why I feel so guilty about these allegations and why I didn’t say anything to the press. I needed them to think it’d happened and it kind of did, just years ago.”

“Why were you in the hotel lobby with her at three in the morning?” she asks me—for the dozenth time—as she crosses her arms over her chest, bunching the shirt and finally letting her gaze trap mine.

I have to swallow the hard lump in my dry throat before I can answer her. “I needed an alibi.”

“Are you fucking serious, Evan?” she says, spitting out her words as she looks at me with more disgust than I’ve ever seen on her face.

“I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

“It’s always an accident. Always a mistake. Why do you do this? Why do you put yourself in these situations?” She screams at me with a rage I know she’s had pent up inside of her for a while now. I’m too old to be this stupid. I never should have continued working for James once her career took off. But the money and the lifestyle were so addicting. It was a high I couldn’t refuse.

“I told you, I quit. I’m not going to put myself in—” As I shake my head, trying to get out the words, I can’t remember a damn thing I’d planned on saying.