“When’s your last day?” There’s a small bit of hope in her voice, and I watch it shatter as I hesitate to answer.

“I don’t know. He … umm. James.” I run my hand down the back of my head and I hate how Kat sees through it all. Her head shakes with disappointment. “It’s not finalized.”

I nearly forget everything I planned on telling her, but somehow I hold on to it and continue, “I regret a lot of the things I’ve done this year and maybe for a while now—”

“For a while?” Kat repeats and her eyes reflect the pain that’s in her voice.

“I didn’t cheat on you, Kat. It’s not what you think,” I tell her and feel like a liar. “I told you, you’re the only one for me.”

Before I can say anything else, she shakes her head and that false smile mars her face. “I don’t know what you did. But I don’t want to know anymore,” she says quietly, staring at the cup in her hands before looking back up at me. “We’re different people and I think it was only a matter of time before something like this …” her voice cracks, but she doesn’t cry. She simply looks away.

My heartbeat slows. So slow that it’s painful.

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” Kat asks me and I have to swallow the spiked lump deep down in my throat before I can answer.

“You still don’t want me to come home?”

“It would be easier if you didn’t.”

“Easier for what?”

“Easier for the breakup, Evan.” Her lips part and then she adds, “It’s not about love anymore or about what we had. It’s about trust and what we’ve become. I need a fresh start and a life I’m proud of. And I don’t think it includes you in it.”

“It does,” I answer her instantly. “And I want the same.”

She stares back at me with an expression that shows how vulnerable she is. How much she wants to believe what I’m telling her.

I take her hand in mine and tell her, “I’ll do whatever you want, so long as when it’s all said and done I get to keep you.”

I stare in her eyes knowing I’ve never said anything more truthful, but something deep down inside tells me that’s not how this story will end.

“It’s too little, too late, Evan. I’m sorry.”

Kat

The bed groans and dips as I turn back onto my right shoulder, pushing the pillow between my knees and trying to force myself to sleep. My mind won’t stop playing back every minute of the coffee shop. Every little moment. Even sleeping pills aren’t working.