I want that. More than anything, I want this pain that I feel to stop. I would give anything to make it go away. Jacob could do that, but it would be short-lived. I blink away the haze of lust, the cloud of want and desire leaving me slowly, very slowly. I clear my throat and look him in the eyes as I tell him, “I can’t.”

“’Cause we’re going to work together?” he asks, although the way he tilts his head and strains his words makes it more than obvious that he knows why I can’t. My lips form a thin straight line as I shake my head no.

“You love him?”

“I do, but that’s not why. I’m just—I’m not okay and I need to figure things out …” I can’t finish the thought, but thankfully I don’t have to.

“I understand,” Jacob says and runs his hand through his thick hair. My eyes are caught in his as I nod in thanks.

“Let’s pretend this didn’t happen then?”

“I’d rather you remember,” he says with a grin that makes me crave him more. “I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he says and then turns to leave. To walk away from me and leave me alone in my misery, just as I asked.

For a second I want to reach out and stop him from leaving; I don’t want to go back to what’s waiting for me. I don’t want to face what I have to do.

But my fingers grip the edge of the foyer doorway as Jacob turns away and heads to the front door.

“I’ll talk to you later then?”

I should say no. I should cut off whatever this is. It’s dangerous and I can feel myself heading toward an edge where I won’t be able to balance. I can see myself falling. And that’s why I give him a small smile and nod my head. “Later,” I say, the word slipping from my lips like a sin.

Evan

The radio in the car is silenced as I turn off the ignition. It’s not often I get a parking spot so close to the townhouse. It was a sacrifice we made when we bought the place a few years ago.

My head falls back against the leather headrest and I stare up at the building, at the top two floors on the right side, knowing that Kat’s in there. So close, but so damn far away just the same.