“A chai and a blueberry muffin top,” I answer him with a tight voice and clear my throat as I reach for my card in my wallet. It’s a Kate Spade and the soft pink and white match the purse, but I’m only just now realizing that it looks a bit dingy. Not so much so that it’s noticeably dirty. Just enough where it doesn’t look so new anymore.

As I wait for my chai, I get a look at my reflection in the glass. I guess the same can be said about me. My fingers tease my hair at the roots, putting a little more volume there and I apply a coat of stain on my lips while I wait.

I wrap the belt around my shirt a little tighter, showing off my waist and lean to my right in the reflection.

I’m not done yet. There’s still life in me. There’s still that girl who wants more buried deep down inside. But what exactly she wants more of remains a question.

Evan, the silent answer, is obvious.

But instead the voice in my head whispers love.

Even if he can’t give me everything, I know what I’m desperate for: to love and be loved.

The bells to the door chime as I accept my chai and muffin top. I silently pray that it’s not Jacob so I can have a moment to try to shovel this down.

No such luck.

I smile broadly when I see him, hiding everything I was just thinking and focusing on my potential client and his career. I mentally tally up how much work we both need to do to get his branding both going in the right direction and noticed by the right market.

“Jacob,” I greet him and his deep green, hazel eyes focus on me.

“Katerina, it’s wonderful to finally have a one-on-one,” he says as he steps over the welcome mat and slips off his thin, black wool jacket. He has a downtown style that would pair well with the woman who was just here. From his gray shirt that hangs low but is fitted tight across his chest, to the boyish grin and messy dark hair. He’s sex on a stick for sure.

“It is wonderful to see you in person, thank you so much for meeting me here,” I say as I make my way to the front of the shop, making sure not to spill the hot drink in my hand.

“Finally meeting my maybe new agent,” he says with both an asymmetric smile and pride.

“I’m so happy you’re thinking of signing with us,” I answer sweetly.

“The rain this fall is ridiculous,” Jacob states as he runs his hand over his hair and then wipes it off on his worn jeans.