But there’s only one way for the story of the two of us to end and that’s with him packing his things and getting out. Loving each other simply isn’t enough when we’re so far apart in other ways.

As if he heard my thought, the front doorknob jiggles and the sound of keys clinking creeps into the room.

Fate hates me. No, that’s not strong enough of a word. It must loathe me because the sight of my husband standing in our doorway shatters my heart.

I attempt to keep my expression cold, but my body goes numb and the same coldness that swept over my body only weeks ago when I felt my marriage falling apart drifts over my skin now. His eyes are bloodshot. He can’t force a look of anything but agony as he turns his gaze from me and walks slowly into the room, closing the door behind him. The shock to my system is crippling and I can’t look him in the eyes. He doesn’t try to hide the desperation. His disheveled hair and all-around rough appearance make my body itch to touch him. To comfort him. To make the obvious pain go away.

I think that’s why I’ll never be able to deny that I love him. The image of him in pain destroys me to my core. My soul hurts for his, and I want nothing more than to take his misery away.

I need to love myself more than I could ever love him. I’m trying to. My God, am I trying.

He nods his head as he tosses his keys down on the coffee table and stands awkwardly in front of me.

I have to swallow the tightness in my throat and ignore the heat flowing through my body begging me to give in. “Hi.” I’m the first to say anything at all and break the uneasy tension in the living room.

“How are you?” he asks and it feels so odd. Like we’re just old friends or acquaintances.

“Not the best,” I answer him. I try to find that anger, I remember everything as my eyes shift to the entrance to the dining room, but there’s not an ounce of anger that will come to my rescue.

“I miss you,” he says as the last word spills from my lips.

“I miss you too,” I admit, my voice cracking and I lick my lips.

“Things have gotten rough, but I never stopped loving you. You’re the only thing that matters.”

“What you say is everything I want to hear, Evan. But it’s what you’ve done that makes it impossible for me to stay with you.”