The waiter said, ‘Nice to see you again, madam,’ so either he says that to everyone or he’s got a good memory, because I only went there when someone else was paying. However, clearly Miracle thought I was now living a secret, lush lifestyle and was impressed. I had two tall lattes while describing my day with Brown’s Bookshops and all the other publicity I’d had, and she said she thought my sales would go up even more after the articles came out about being a Brown’s Flower. She was waxing lyrical in the old Miracle mode when suddenly she clammed up and stared at me in a horribly critical and embarrassed way hissing: ‘Tina!’

Then I realized I’d inadvertently stuck the two plastic coffee stirrers through my hair like chopsticks (though I dare say I’d licked them clean first), went pink with embarrassment and quickly pulled them out. Luckily the only person who seemed to notice was this rather nice businessman sitting at the next table wearing an absolutely wonderful suit that made me want to stroke it, and he winked at me.

Sergei would not have been in the least surprised or embarrassed by my behaviour – though he might have adjusted the stirrers so that the round ends did not project quite like Minnie Mouse ears – because he always does exactly what he feels like doing, but Miracle sighed deeply and said what with having Sergei Popov as my lover and my eccentric ways, she only hoped any publicity was good publicity.

If she’d been regretting letting me go up to that point, I think the impulse to try to chivvy me back into the fold waned rapidly. Then she made small distressed moaning sounds when she paid the bill, though actually she always did that when obliged to part with money, and I’m sure it’s much more cringe-making than anything I do.

Fourteen

Frozen Assets