NOVELTINA LITERARY AND CRITICAL AGENCY

Mudlark Cottage, The Harbour, Shrimphaven

Dear Ms Pucklington,

What an interesting novel Beyond Rubber is! I feel I have learned so much, although I did become somewhat lost in one or two places, especially about the feather, and the role of the bicycle pump … so perhaps the general reader might also find these references a little baffling.

However, I think you will find a publisher for this and your lack of success to date has simply been because you have been aiming at the wrong market.

Instead of Mills & Boon you should try the publishers Red Hot Candy Press, since they are always gagging for this sort of thing and – a major point – do not require any plot whatsoever between erotic scenes, which will suit your excellent novel perfectly.

Therefore I enclose my critique to enable you to add that final polish to your work, and a copy letter for you to send to Red Hot Candy Press together with your manuscript.

I wish you all the best in successfully placing it.

Best wishes,

Tina Devino

I was in the papers again: the Sun had an article about me! Well, it was about Sergei really, but it mentioned me.

There was a very unflattering photo of him leaving the stage door of the Royal Ballet with his arm around Grigor, with the caption, ‘Is Sexy Sergei a Dancing Queen?’ Under it: ‘“Absolutely not!” says close friend Tina Devino, author of several sizzling sex ’n’ gardening novels.’

When the journalist called me the day before for my comments, he promised to mention my books and so he had; the newspaper was also going to review Spring Breezes and offer a free copy to the first six readers who write in, so my profile is going up and up! Anyway, I was happy to set them straight about Sergei.

Of course when Sergei rang me, incandescently furious with the Sun, I sympathized with him no end, and he was actually grateful that I had defended him like that in print, so I didn’t mention my ulterior motives.

But I would have defended him anyway, because I knew his affectionate and hands-on disposition, and just because Nureyev seemed to have been a bit AC/DC it does not follow as the night the day that all male ballet dancers are.

Sergei did seem very fond of Grigor, though.

Probably as a direct result of all the recent publicity, my new book seemed to be selling well, if my Amazon ratings were anything to go by. And people kept phoning me and asking me to do things, most of which I refused because I’d started on the next novel, so far untitled, even though I didn’t yet know if I still had a publisher, and I hadn’t found another agent either, despite writing to several. They were all ‘going to get back to me’.