She said she wished she hadn’t, it had all been a big mistake and hideously embarrassing and she was terribly sorry, and clearly it didn’t mean a thing to Sergei, and I wouldn’t tell Tershie, would I?

So I said what did she take me for? I, at least, was loyal to my friends – or ex-friends, perhaps I should say – and she’d better think up some Russian ancestry for herself in case the baby proved to be a cuckoo in the nest. Then she cried even more and said it was definitely Tershie’s, she’d worked the dates out and she was sure.

I didn’t know why the thought of Linny having Sergei’s baby should hurt me, since I’d never wanted to have a baby at all, but it did, so I said I was going now and I never wanted to see her ever again and left her to it … and I hoped she remembered to drink something because at that rate of tears she would be totally dehydrated and her basement would be flooded.

On the way home (by tube and train this time) I felt in a cold state of shock, especially realizing that I would never see Linny again – or not intentionally, anyway – or have my handy base in London, or someone to tell all my secrets to, or giggle with over the clientele at Lemonia, or discuss my love life – or lack of – with, or help her spend Tershie’s money …

I mean, I’d got other friends, but only one Linny.

How could she do this to me?

And how could Sergei do that with my best friend and think it didn’t matter any more than his flings with the other passing playmates? I knew that Linny hadn’t got any common sense whatsoever, but why on earth didn’t Sergei think to take precautions? Or was I wrong about that, at least, and the baby was Tershie’s?

Dear Tony,

Here is some news that will gladden your heart: I am no longer having any kind of relationship with Sergei Popov. All is at an end between us.

From now on I intend living a virtuous single life down here in Shrimphaven, where I will decline into a state of embittered and probably eccentric spinsterhood, so I hope you, at least, are happy.

Tina

It being one of his days for teaching at the Royal Ballet School, I rang up and had Sergei urgently summoned to the phone so I could tell him Linny had admitted everything, to which he replied dismissively that there was nothing of any importance to admit.