My poor brother Tony, who is fifteen years my elder (I was a surprise latecomer) and at the time unmarried, simply didn’t know what else to do with me. In any case, he was fully occupied running the family business.

‘Once you got to school, you weren’t lonely – you had me,’ she pointed out, which was quite true, but wouldn’t have made half as good publicity and anyway, I was lonely before we met.

Palazzo Devino,

Nr Cowbridge,

South Wales

Dear Tina,

Christmas is nearly here and, as Maria points out to me, blood is thicker than water and you are my only sister, and so we will expect you to spend the Christmas season with us as usual. All the bambinos, even little Fabia, ask often after their auntie Tina, though I would be grateful if you would choose their Christmas presents with a little more thought than you give to their birthday presents, which Maria and I frequently find unsuitable, especially that magazine subscription you gave Bruno for his sixteenth birthday.

Let me know which train you are getting so I can meet you.

Your affectionate brother,

Antonio

Dear Tony,

From the tone (joke!) of your letter I infer that you have been reading The Godfather again. I do wish you wouldn’t.

But thank you for your invitation to spend Christmas with you, Mary and the children as usual, which I will accept providing you don’t go on and on about my living in sin and committing adultery, like last year, which certainly cast a blight on the festivities; and besides, I don’t live with anyone, I’m not married, and even if I did it is none of your business.

I’m afraid I will only be able to spend two nights with you, though, due to pressure of work, and I will drive myself down, because I haven’t forgotten how you collected me from the station in a vintage Devino Curly Cone ice-cream van last year, which is pure affectation when you have a perfectly good Mercedes in the driveway – and family roots might lie in ice cream but their lifeblood these days is coffee. At the rate you are expanding, every town in South Wales will soon have at least one Café Devino.

Your affectionate sister,

Tina