“And you’re a good sister, Ada,” Afton says softly. “I know you’re trying to hold all of us together, for Abby. Which is why I need to say—”

My phone chimes with a text.

All clear.

I have to go. “Speaking of being a good sister, would you be in charge of Abby for a while?” I ask Afton. “Like maybe for the rest of the awards?”

“Sure.” Afton’s eyes narrow on my face. She probably saw the page of my sketchbook with the words THE SEX PLAN in big letters across the top. And all my humiliating questions.

“I’m going to hang out with Nick Kelly,” I say. “Could you cover for me?” After all, I’ve covered for her, so many times.

She thinks about it for a minute. “You’re going to hang out in his room?”

“Yes.” This time, unlike a week ago (god, was it only a week ago, with Leo?) I don’t offer up the details of the plan, even though she probably already knows. I don’t ask her advice. I don’t insist that I’m ready.

Her forehead rumples, but she says, “Okay.”

“Okay, you’ll watch Abby?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” I give myself a final once-over. Fluff my hair. Reapply the lipstick.

“You look really nice, by the way,” Afton says. “I hope you have a good time.”

“That’s the plan,” I say. To have a good time. To feel good. To feel better.

We leave the restroom, and my sister returns to our table and Abby, and I make my way toward the Ocean Tower again.

And find my way to room 407.

Chapter 39

39

When I get there, I hear music coming from inside the room. Bagpipes.

I text Nick. 407, right?

Correct.

I’m standing outside the door. But—

The door opens. There’s Nick. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Come in.”

I step inside and kick off my flip-flops. It’s dark in the room, the shades drawn, a lamp glowing dimly in the corner and a few lit candles around the bed, which seems like a fire hazard. My stomach does a little flip of anticipation. I take a shaky breath.

Dare to dance, I tell myself silently. Leave shame behind.

“Are you okay?” Nick asks.

“Yes.” I swallow. “Can we maybe turn on a few more lights? And open the curtains? This is romantic—no doubt—but I want to be able to see what’s happening.”

He crosses quickly to the window and pulls back the drapes. A warm light floods the warm. Behind the balcony, the sun is sinking into the ocean, all red-and-gold fire as it plunges into the water. The sky has a pink hue, which makes everything a bit surreal. As if it isn’t already surreal enough.

But I can breathe again. “Thank you.”

“Anything else I can do?”