“I do love Hawaii,” he sighs, agreeing with me but not agreeing. “You girls are going to have so much fun.”

Chapter 10

10

“Hey, I’m sorry about what I said yesterday,” I try out as an apology Sunday morning. The plane is about to lift off from SFO. Afton and I are stuck sitting together, seats 17 A and B, respectively, and while I’m still moderately pissed off at my older sister, for reasons I can’t quite articulate, I don’t think I can endure the entire six-hour flight with the two of us actively fighting. So I’m waving the white flag. Being the bigger person. Making nice.

Afton pulls out a compact and reapplies her lipstick. “What part?”

“What?”

“What part of what you said, exactly, are you sorry for?” She presses her lips together to blot them and clicks the compact closed.

“Um, all of it?”

“Hmm. Okay.” Afton starts texting someone. Probably Logan. Because Afton, lucky her, still has a boyfriend.

“You’re not supposed to use your phone right now,” I say. “It interferes with the plane’s radar or something.”

Afton sighs and puts her phone back into her purse, but she doesn’t turn it off or put it into airplane mode first. The plane starts to pick up speed. I try to steady my breathing as it thrusts itself into the air. I’ve never loved flying. I don’t like being in tight, enclosed spaces where, if something were to go horribly wrong, I’d be trapped with no way of escape. I only get through it by reminding myself that it’s temporary.

But this is a six-hour flight.

“Have you heard from Leo?” Afton stares out the little window as the ground drops away beneath us. She has the window seat. She always gets the window seat, and I always get the aisle. This feels like a metaphor for something.

I exhale through my mouth slowly before I answer. “No. And I don’t want to hear from him, ever again.”

“Good,” says Afton.

So we’re on speaking terms again. I sigh in relief. “The thing that kills me is how he always said the right things, all that progressive, woke, feminist bullshit about respecting me and liking me for who I was, but underneath that he was just a cliché of a douchebag, after all.” I’ve also been taught not to say the word douchebag, because the reason it’s supposed to be an insult is that it’s associated only with women. The same way that pussy is a slur. But the word asshole just isn’t covering it when it comes to Leo. “So you were right. It’s a good thing.”

“Right,” says Afton vaguely.

“This trip is just what I need,” I say, almost cheerful now. “Even if Pop’s not coming.”