I nod and mumble, ‘One each.’

Susan tuts then looks at me closely through her big glasses. ‘Being honest, Malky, means a bad deed belongs in your past. Being dishonest means it is with you forever. Which do you want?’

In my heart, I know she’s right. ‘Is that karma?’

‘No,’ she says. Her voice has softened. ‘That’s just me.’

Susan takes a step forward until she is standing close enough for me to catch her soap-and-apples smell. ‘I will come with you if you want,’ she says. ‘We go there, you hand them back, you apologise, you say that it was just a prank, or whatever …’

‘Banter.’

‘That’s it. It was just banter, you are really, really sorry … and that is it. What can they do? You said that Andi already knows it was you, anyway. So it will be a piece of cake.’

I raise my eyes to meet her intense gaze. ‘Butter cake?’

‘Exactly!’ she laughs. ‘A piece of butter cake.’

‘Tomorrow?’

Susan smiles her closed-mouth smile and says, ‘Yes. Tomorrow morning. Come round here, we’ll go together and we will put everything right. As friends.’

I feel like a heavy box of anxiety has been lifted off my chest.

‘Friends,’ I repeat.

Chapter 53

Mam has texted that she’s been held up at work and Fit Billy’s cooking our supper again. Second time this week: it’s something super-healthy and vegetarian which is okay, but it’s got beans in it, and I know Seb will have really bad wind come bedtime. There’s good news, though: Mam will have calmed down by the time she gets in and she’ll be tired; I might even be in bed and avoid the confrontation about my antics in the lunch hall until tomorrow.

‘What is this?’ says Seb, eyeing the pan suspiciously.

‘It’s bean stew,’ says Billy, proudly.

It’s like Seb’s been waiting his whole life to deliver this line. He pauses to catch my eye, then says, ‘I don’t care what it’s been, Billy. I want to know what it is now!’

I start to tell him off, mainly because I’m angry with him about his FaceTime call. ‘Seb! Don’t be so …’

But I stop when Billy lets out a loud bark of laughter. ‘Good one, son! Top banter!’ he says and Seb smirks with satisfaction.

I think about taking the Dreaminators down, but then I realise that I’ll have to explain everything to Seb and I’m just not in the mood. Besides, I don’t want to scare him, so I’m going to have to lie to him, and Susan’s little lecture is still kind of ringing in my ears.

‘You’re quiet tonight, Malky,’ says Billy. ‘Is there something wrong?’

‘No,’ I say and to cover my silence I take another mouthful of Billy’s stew.