‘Ah! It’s my favourite Dream-boy!’ she beams. ‘How nice that you come to visit! You watching films?’ She points at the one I’m holding. ‘That’s the one I like best. Such a beautiful story. I watch it every year at least one time. What we watching now?’

Susan takes the videotape out of the bag and holds it up to show her grandmother. ‘It’s an old VHS that has been lent to us by Mr McKinley. You know – the old man we visited? Malcolm here wants to know what is on it.’

Mola narrows her little eyes. ‘It might not be … ah … suitable for kids, huh? Could be too violent or, or … saucy or something, no?’

Susan thinks for a moment, then she says, ‘Mola – it’s part of … it’s a school outreach project.’ She turns to me. ‘Isn’t it, Malcolm?’

‘Yes!’ I say, too enthusiastically, but I think it goes unnoticed. ‘Yes, it’s a school thing.’

Mola scrunches up her face in confusion.

Susan says, ‘Homework, Mola.’

‘Ah! Homework! You are a good girl! You must do lots of homework and you will be a diplomat like your pha. You must love homework too, boy?’

Ah, she means me. ‘Erm … I … ermm …’

‘Malky loves homework, Mola. Don’t you, Malky?’

The old lady nods approvingly and winks at me, as if she’d known all along that I love homework. As if.

‘I knew it! Susan always chooses very clever friends. Very well. But I will watch with you in case it is too saucy.’ She sits down heavily. ‘And now you will bring me tea, because you are such a good girl, Susan. And butter cake. And another cushion.’

I sit down on the faded velvet sofa while Mola beams at me, silently delighted that Susan has a friend who loves homework.

Chapter 50

Susan reads out from the handwritten label on the cassette. ‘It says Scotland Loud And Live – May 1981.’ She slots the cassette into the machine and presses ‘play’.

The picture is a bit scratchy, the colours are too vivid and blurry, and the sound isn’t great, but here it is.

The programme starts with the theme tune, which sounds like it’s played on an accordion, and lots of pictures of Scottish landmarks, like hills and castles and that famous bridge, and deer with antlers and stuff like that. The programme title comes up in big tartan letters:

SCOTLAND

LOUD & LIVE

WITH YOUR HOST

ROBBIE FERGUSON

A grinning man comes down the lit-up steps of the TV studio as the audience applauds and whoops. He has a fat, drooping moustache and long hair over his ears. He’s wearing a baggy dark green suit and a tiny, narrow tie and, even if I didn’t know this programme was from the 1980s, I could tell it was ancient.