When both Dreaminators are assembled, I pick up the instructions again – they’re pretty short. On the first side of the single sheet is a repeat of the photo from the box cover, and ‘a letter to the buyer’ that gives me a pang of guilt, because I didn’t buy it at all. Still, I’m too excited to find out about it to worry that much, and I read the whole thing aloud to Seb.

THE DREAMINATOR (TM)

A Letter to the Buyer

Hello!

Thank you for buying the Dreaminator! You are now the proud owner of a revolutionary concept in sleep and dream management. I am delighted that you have made this purchase and I am confident that a world of amazing adventures awaits you – and all while you are fast asleep!

My name is Kenneth McKinley. You may know me from my appearances on stage, radio and television …

I glance up at Seb. He shakes his head.

He’s never heard of this fella, either, but then it must have been ages ago, judging by the yellowed paper and the design and everything. He’s probably dead by now.

Based on teachings and traditions from all around the globe, the Dreaminator (TM) harnesses the deepest powers of your sleeping brain to allow the user to become conscious in his or her dreams – yet remain asleep!

THESE ARE WAKING DREAMS!

That’s right! With practice, you will be able to recognise when you are dreaming while you are dreaming, and make choices about what happens.

Say goodbye to frustrating dreams that you do not understand!

No more nightmares! When you literally control your demons, you can send them packing!

Happy dreaming!

Kenneth ‘the Mystic o’ the Highlands’

McKinley

Seb is doing his rapid-blinking thing as he tries to take in what I have just read out.

‘So …’ he begins and then trails off. He tries again. ‘So … you can be awake even though you are asleep?’

‘Sounds like it.’

‘But that doesn’t make sense.’

I shrug. I have to say it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, either. I turn the sheet over and start reading again.

What are ‘waking dreams’?

Waking dreams are sometimes called ‘lucid dreaming’. This is a term devised in 1867 by the Frenchman the Marquis de Saint-Denys who first described the extraordinary ability to be fully conscious and direct your dreams while you are asleep.

The DreaminatorTM combines the teachings of Saint-Denys with philosophies and traditions from other cultures – such as Native Americans, West African animist religions, Buddhist meditation and Western ‘New Age’ thought – to create a powerful tool.

The DreaminatorTM uses the unique and mysterious properties of crystals to create a charge of ultra-low-level energy around the sleeping person. Coupled with the ancient power of the pyramids – known since the time of the Egyptian pharaohs – this creates an astonishing combination of forces.

Now you can have ‘waking dreams’ whenever you sleep!