‘What kind of film were you thinking?’ I ask. ‘One that’s going to make me want to be a superhero and save the world or one that’s going to turn me into a blubbering mess?’

They both look up at me, Zaza has an eyebrow raised, and Vicky is pulling her best ‘cute’ face that makes her look exactly like Barnaby.

‘Smut it is then,’ I agree.

‘Fantastic!’ Vicky smiles. ‘Oooh! Look, the new Billy Buskin one. Yes!’

Her excitement stops me from moaning in protest. It’s clear Vicky has zero time that’s hers, so if she wants to watch her favourite crush (not a secret, she had posters of Billy up in our flat years ago), then who am I to stop her. Plus, after living with three women for years, I’ve actually grown to love him myself. Not only is he a pretty face but, ever since he’s moved away from the teen drama side of things he’s proved himself to be super talented too.

‘Did I tell you I saw him on my way home from work a few months ago?’ asks Zaza.

‘Excuse me, what?’ asks Vic, her hand pushing me back into my seat to get a better view of the gossip. ‘What was he doing? Who was he with? Oh, gosh! Was he with Sophie? And their new puppy?’

‘Wow … you know your stuff,’ I note.

‘We all have our strengths, Mike. Mine are clearly pushing babies out of my vagina and knowing all there is to know about Mr Buskin.’

‘My strengths pale in comparison,’ I reply.

‘Or does the mention of her strengths make you go pale?’ Zaza laughs.

‘Hard to say.’

‘Tell me everything!’ Vicky demands.

‘I was walking down Shaftesbury Avenue on the way to the Tube and he was coming in the other direction.’

‘And …?’

‘And I don’t remember anything else. I was chatting to someone from work so I was distracted …’

‘Who?’

‘Albie. You know, that guy who started a few months back,’ Zaza shrugs.

‘Right … and he stopped you making any actual observations on, arguably, the most stunningly beautiful man of our generation?’

‘I guess …?’

‘You’re useless.’

‘Shall we start the film?’ I say, interrupting them mid crush talk.