‘I’ll get it,’ I call up the stairs, not entirely sure if Vicky can even hear me over the noise being made.

‘I love them but …’ Zaza is stood with her hands over her ears, a grimace on her screwed-up face.

‘Happy Valentine’s!’ I laugh, throwing open my arms to welcome her in.

‘Put like that I have to say I’ve had worse,’ she declares, dropping her act and happily strutting in.

‘Just you?’ I ask.

‘Yes. Liam had a … thing,’ she shrugs. ‘Come on.’ I watch as she starts making her way up the stairs.

‘No! I don’t think we should interfere,’ I whisper, pleading.

Zaza stops halfway up, swivelling in my direction. ‘The only people that say that are the ones who think they could do a better job while they sit there judging, so get your arse up here now.’

‘I just …’

‘You get Barns, I’ll sort Chloe.’

‘Deal,’ I concede, putting my beer on the side before taking the stairs two at a time.

‘How are my favourite little humans?’ Zaza asks with a huge smile on her face, leaping into their room like everyone’s favourite children’s entertainer.

Both kids have their arms around her waist by the time I’m through the door. It’s a sweet sight, although you wouldn’t think so by the look on Vic’s face. Still kneeling by Chloe’s bed, she looks bereft, broken and on the brink of tears. She busies herself by clearing the books and toys that clutter up the floor.

‘Are you having a sleepover?’ asks Chloe, her blotchy face looking up at Zaza.

‘Not tonight.’

‘Oh!’ she moans.

‘But, Mike and I thought we’d read you both bedtime stories tonight. You have to promise to get into bed and pretend you’re super good children who listen to big children though.’

Barnaby and Chloe steal a look at each other before running to their adjacent beds and getting under their duvets – one covered in unicorns, the other intergalactically inspired.

‘You, in the shower,’ she orders Vicky. ‘We’ve got this.’

‘You don’t have to,’ says Vicky, holding on to the bed frame as she gets off the ground.

‘We want to,’ I say.

Vicky glances from us to her kids who are now looking more than angelic.

‘Thanks, guys,’ she says before turning to the kids with a whisper. ‘You two listen to Aunty Zaza and Uncle Mike. I’ll be back in a bit.’

‘Of course they will – we’re the novelty act,’ Zaza says with a gentle laugh.

‘Yeah,’ Vicky sighs. ‘I won’t be long.’

‘OK, Barnaby. I’m thinking space!’ I say, heading to his side of the room that’s full of planets, stars and rockets.

‘Yes! This one!’ he sings, holding a book above his head and shuffling over on the bed.

‘Are you reading or am I?’