Just as I’m about to start brainstorming ideas my front doorbell goes. Looking out of the window I spot my father-in-law standing on the doorstep. When I tap on the glass he’s caught off guard, he purses his lips and dips his head in greeting.

I run around and open the door.

‘Sajan!’ I say, a big smile on my face. ‘Come in!’

‘Oh no, no, I won’t stay.’

‘Have you come for the dishes?’ I ask, already making my way to the kitchen so that I can grab them off the side. When I’d run out of Tupperware the other night Anju left me some of her serving dishes. Thanks to my appetite fully returning those dishes have been emptied and washed. I messaged Anju a picture of me looking happy with one of the empty dishes last night, to which she replied with lots of laughing emojis and hearts. ‘Here you go,’ I say, handing them over to Sajan.

‘Thank you,’ he says, taking them from me and placing them precariously under his arm in a way I know Anju would not approve of. He lingers for a moment, clearly with something on his mind.

‘Are you OK?’ I ask. ‘Honestly, you’re more than welcome to come in.’

‘No, I really must go,’ he says, looking at his shoes before reaching into the back pocket of his trousers. ‘Pia …’ He stops and gives a little cough before continuing. ‘If you were ever to go on your trip, Pia said to give you this.’

A small yellow envelope is placed in my hand. On the front Pia’s hand has scrawled my name.

‘I had it with me the other day but something stopped me from giving it to you then. I wanted her request to stay with me a little longer. It’s the last one we have,’ he adds, really looking at me as he says it to hammer his point home. If that’s true, if this is truly it, then these are the final words I’m ever going to read from my wife that were intended for me to see once she was no longer here.

Sajan grabs hold of my empty hand and pulls me forward, placing his arm around me. Suddenly he steps back and gives a little nod goodbye.

I wave goodbye with my mind on the contents of what I’ve been handed, waving for longer than is necessary, continuing until he’s walked down the drive, got into his car and driven around the corner and is out of sight.

I look down at my hands and turn the envelope.

I lean on the front door of our home, open the envelope and read her words.