‘Coming,’ croaks Nick, patting my leg before shuffling off to check on Chloe. I can’t recall the last time the kids woke in the night and didn’t call for me. When they were younger Nick would try going in and they’d go berserk. It is the one time they have always asked for me over Nick. Yes, the only time my kids really crave me near is during those heavenly hours of sleep. It’s something I’ve often resented as I’ve stumbled out of the room, barely able to open my eyes through tiredness while a snoring Nick lies completely oblivious in our bed. Yet during my time away they’ve got used to another person going into their room to soothe them, and now I’m back they’re still choosing him over me.

You’d think I’d be relieved but instead the thought sits heavily on my chest.

I lay back with my eyes open. I thought Chloe had woken in the middle of the night but looking around the room, at the sun peeping through the curtains, it’s clear I’ve already had a decent night’s sleep and that morning has arrived.

Oh gosh!

The kids had stayed up for a movie night to celebrate me being back and I must’ve passed out on the sofa, I don’t remember seeing any of Raya or waking up to go to bed. Jetlag completely wiped me out! I haven’t even managed a proper conversation with Nick yet without a child coming along to interrupt to tell me something I missed while I was away or with a question about the trek. They were giddy for most of the day, a thought that makes me smile. As I was trying to do the washing the two of them had everything out of my bag, trying to work out what the items were used for – which was fine for the sleeping bag and head torch, but less so for the she-wee, even if I didn’t end up using it (turned out squatting wasn’t that bad). As a result of their interest we popped up a tent in the garden and played explorers for a good chunk of the afternoon.

It was good to feel like they’d missed me, so brilliant to have them engaged in something that I was doing that didn’t involve them, so great to feel like I was inspiring their creativity with games.

‘I want Mummy! Mummy’s bed,’ yells Chloe before breaking into a huge sob.

I sit up again, at the sound of heavy feet making their way across the hallway.