‘Thank God,’ Carrie says. ‘I’m not sure my arse can take any more of this bloody banger. Maybe I can knit myself a cushion for the journey back.’

Erden stops the truck on the perimeter of the camp, and we all bundle out. I’m not sure what I expected, but it’s small, and there don’t seem to be any facilities other than the three gers. A little further away, there is a wooden structure standing on its own, and I have a horrible feeling that it is the toilet.

‘Hang on…’ Carrie says, dropping her bag on the packed mud floor. ‘Is this it? Where are the showers?’

‘Oh, sorry. No showers,’ Sarnai says. ‘But we can boil some water. Only two nights so no big deal, right? Did you not read all the information on the leaflet when you booked? This is real, traditional camp. Not like the tourist camps – those are bigger, more expensive. They have showers, but not the true experience like here.’

Carrie sniffs. ‘I suppose the toilet is a massive hole behind those wooden doors.’

‘That’s right,’ Sarnai says. ‘You’ve seen one before?’

‘Only in horror movies,’ Rory quips. ‘I’m pretty sure the leaflet didn’t explain any of this … and I did read it before I booked.

‘We’re here now,’ Sarnai says, still grinning. ‘Will be a great experience. Live with nature, OK? It’s only a couple of nights. You’ll soon be loving it and you won’t want to go back to UB. You know what? Just wait until you see inside your ger – you will just scream!’ She leaves us while she goes off to get the woman from the camp, to tell her we’ve arrived.

Carrie drops onto the floor with a sigh. ‘I have died and gone to hell.’

Rory sits down beside her. ‘Not a nature lover then?’

‘I’m absolutely fine with nature. I’m all over nature. Nature is fucking amazing. I just like a few more home comforts when I’m feeling delicate. After that journey, I’m pretty sure every bone in my body has been displaced. Not to mention all the brain cells that’ve been rattled clean out of my skull.’ She lies back on the ground and Rory laughs.

‘What about you, Violet?’ Martin doesn’t carry the same mocking tone as Rory, so I don’t feel like punching him right this minute – unlike Rory, who I’m tempted to kick in the shins as he sits beside Carrie, gently prodding her ribs, while she slaps him and tells him what she’s going to do with his finger if he touches her again.

‘I think we’ll be OK,’ I say, hoping I can use positive affirmations to make it true.