I don’t want to go back to the hotel yet, so I walk back from the salon a different way and end up on the edge of the famous Tiergarten – the huge park in the west of the city centre, famous for nude sunbathers, secluded gardens and a pretty boating lake. I remember coming here with my parents, on that trip so long ago, and it feels like fate that I should end up here. I was too young to care much about the bar when I was younger – but I remember it vividly.

I check the signs to make sure I am going the right way, and then I hurry into the park, the trees screening the sounds of traffic nearby, and by the time I have been walking for a few minutes, it feels like I am a million miles away.

Maybe my bank card is back in the hotel, and I’m overreacting. I have enough cash to keep me going for now, so I decide not to worry about it for a while.

The sunlight tries to push through the thick canopy of trees, but the light fades as I go further into the woods. Shadows dance on hidden sculptures, and the place seems to fall silent for a moment, and I stop to take a breath. I look up at the sky through the clearing and have a sudden feeling of claustrophobia, as if the branches reaching up are beginning to change direction, swirling and winding, seeking me out, ready to grab me and smother me in their wooden embrace … and then the sounds return. Birds chirruping in the trees, the scurrying of small animals in the undergrowth, and a flurry of voices carrying on the wind.

I blink, rub my face with my hands. Get a grip. Then I start walking again, quickly, over a small bridge and towards the sound of the voices. When I come out of the trees, the world returns: a road, nearby, and on the other side, the bar that I remember – long wooden tables, fairy lights strung across trees. The tables are filled with the after-work crowd, mingling with tourists, drinking steins of cold, pale beer and eating pizza.

I take a breath and feel calmer at last. I follow a couple into the self-service area and get myself a beer and a pretzel, then head out to find a good place to sit and reflect. I have to work out what to do next. Staying in Berlin isn’t really an option now, after what happened at the rooftop bar, but for once I am at a loss as to where to go. I wish I could go home. Move back in with my parents. Shut myself away for a while. But from my conversation with Daddy, I don’t think I am welcome. I suppose it’s no real surprise that he’s given up on me, just like everyone else.