“No, it’s not,” said Kira.

Nielsen shook her head. “I should have known he would do something foolish if he thought I was in danger. He’s always acted like a puppy around me. Should have sent him back to the ship.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” said Kira. “If anything … I’m the one responsible.” She explained.

“You don’t know what would have happened if you let the suit act on its own.”

“Maybe. And there’s no way you could have known that Jelly was going to pop up. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

After a moment, Nielsen relented. “I suppose. The thing is, we should have never put Trig in that situation in the first place.”

“Did we really have a choice? It wasn’t much safer on the Wallfish.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s right. He’s younger than both my sons.”

“He’s not a child, though.”

Nielsen touched the top of the tube. “No, he isn’t. Not anymore.”

Kira hugged her, and after her initial surprise, Nielsen hugged back. “Hey, the doc says he’ll live,” said Kira, pulling away. “And you did make it. Everyone on the Wallfish did. I bet Trig would consider that a win.”

The first officer managed a wan smile. “Let’s try to avoid any more wins like that from now on.”

“Agreed.”

5.

Twenty-eight minutes later, the Darmstadt exploded. One of the nightmares controlled by the Seeker managed to hit the UMC cruiser with a missile, rupturing its Markov Drive and vaporizing half the ship.

Kira was in Control when it happened, but even there, she heard a loud “Fuck!” echoing up from the injured Marines in sickbay.

She stared with dismay at the holo of the system—at the blinking red dot that marked the last location of the Darmstadt. All those people, dead because of her. The sense of guilt was overwhelming.

Falconi must have seen something of it on her face, because he said, “There’s nothing we could have done.”

Perhaps not, but that didn’t make Kira feel any better.

Tschetter contacted them almost immediately. “Captain Falconi, the Jellies with me will continue to provide you with as much cover as possible. We can’t guarantee your safety, though, so I’d advise maintaining your current burn.”

“Roger that,” said Falconi. “What sort of shape are your ships in?”

“Don’t worry about us, Captain. Just get back to the League in one piece. We’ll take care of the rest. Over.”

In the holo, Kira saw the three friendly Jelly ships darting in and around the larger conflict. Only four of the hostile Jelly ships remained, and most of the nightmares’ had been disabled or destroyed, but those last few were still fighting, still dangerous.

“Gregorovich,” said Falconi. “Crank us up another quarter g.”

“Captain,” said Hwa-jung in a warning tone. “The repairs may not hold.”

He looked at her with a steady gaze. “I trust you, Song. The repairs will hold.”

Gregorovich cleared his simulated throat, then, and said, “Increasing thrust, O Captain, my Captain.”

And Kira felt the weight of her limbs increase yet again. She sank into the nearest chair and sighed as the cushioning took some of the pressure off her bones. Even with the help of the Soft Blade, the extra thrust was far from pleasurable. Just breathing took noticeable effort.