‘Right, so tell me this then, sayin we’re being honest. Wit ir you dain goin wae some mad gimp fae college? Probably some pure perfume boy, nae doubt!’

‘Cos Dominic is different—’

‘Dominic? Riiight! Up eh road!’

‘Let me finish, Alan! If I needty choose between a guy like him n a guy that’s a pure ned—’

‘Aye you’ll go wae the money!’

‘It’s absolutely nothin to do with money!’

‘Wit is it tae dae wae then?’

‘I can’t spend the rest of my life runnin about with all the dafties of the day. I need to make choices n even if that’s maybe not who I would choose first, I’ll settle cos he’ll treat me right. He won’t break my heart by gettin the jail or gettin himself slashed or stabbed. Plus, he’ll dress nice n take me out. We can actually do stuff n go places. That’s not as mercenary as it sounds. A girl gets tired runnin after bad boys – much as it is fun for a while.’

We share a second ‘one of those looks’ ae the evening. A’m that bad boy. These feminine subtleties irnae lost on me. A don’t yit meet hur reasonable expectations. We both know that. She hud given me a million chances tae stop n choose hur awready but A’m no that clever.

‘You know I always liked you, Azzy.’

You could have had me if you wanted me, her eyes say, flickerin wae a million possibilities. She looks doon n back up. This is wit you could huv hud, son. That kinda blow hits hard, cuts yi deep aboot life choices. The Young Team n aw the carry-on is more important than me, she says wae those dark green eyes. There’s nuhin more A kin say.

Fantasylands

Saturday, 15 November 2008. Godskitchen main arena, Fantasylands at the Royal Highland Show Centre, Ingliston. There’s two halls, the Highland and the Lowland, n a massive outdoor arena wae tents holdin the smaller stages. 6 p.m.–6 a.m. We’ve been here fae half-six. It’s just gone midnight. A’m back in the water, crashin waves ae colour, sound, light. A took six rocket swedgers n A’m fleein, double duntin aw the way. A’ve still git another four tae take. Ma come up wis fuckin mad but A’ve levelled oot enough tae talk tae yees n guide yees through this dreamland.

There’s been aw sorts ae big fuckin DJs here the night. Yoji, Woody van Eyden, Stoneface n Terminal n Lange. ‘Godskitchen’ is the main arena, pure trance fest. Ferry Corsten is headlinin later on. There’s aw different groups here tae runnin arenas. ‘Back to the Future’ wae the boay, the man, the legend, Mallorca the Lee, Bass Generator, Mark EG, Marc Smith n Kutski. The ‘HTID’ area’s git Breeze n Styles n Hixxy. The last is ‘Polysexual’, wae Phil York n Andy Whitby. Fuckin some mix ae classic cunts n newer wans. These attract the eld Rez crew – there’s elder cunts divin aboot in their forties, hardcore cunts that never threw in the towel. It’s different fae Braeheed up here. Yir on the way intae Edinburgh, headin east up the M8. It’s at the airport by Ratho Station. Yi kin see the control tower on yir way in, a big hourglass-shaped fuckin thing. Yi wid be able tae hear the planes takin aff n landin if it wisnae for the hundreds ae thousands ae amps runnin through the systems, shakin the place tae bits wae heavy bangin tunes.