‘Catch yi soon, mucka. Good tae speak tae yi. Cheers. Bye.’

A’ve been drug-free fur three year noo, since A left fur Newcastle. A still drank, but only the odd time. When yir in Danny’s state, minutes, hours n days ir the hard fought n contested first ae that sacred margin, that wid grow steadily n become suhin meaningful n worth defendin. Sometimes being at the end ae a phone is enough, tae understand n listen n encourage n tell them tae hang on. It took a couple ae hard weeks then a few months ae serious commitment. Once yi hit a year, it’s a huge milestone, n that thin margin isnae so thin anymore. It’s a mighty fortress n yi hud laid the foundations strong n every stone is a day ae life you’ve lived aff it. It kin withstand aw sorts: social gatherings, bad days, break-ups, peer pressure n nights where yi huv a few drinks n hud furgot n want tae remember. Yir strong tower becomes impenetrable n no matter wit cunts fling at yi – nuhin wull stop yi. Three years later, yir almost in the clear n takin drugs is suhin unimaginable. Plenty cunts, even if they didnae admit it, ir happy tae see yi back on the drugs n swallyin drink so they kin use yi as an enabler tae their ain habit, purely as company tae their misery or worse, oot ae morbid fascination, just tae light the fuse n stand back n watch yi explode. It took major fuckin baws tae git aff anyhin n the rewards ir endless, cos at the end ae that thin margin is the promised land ae peace n redemption n precious normality. That’s worth fightin fur and livin fur.

A’m drivin back up the road, by the Orange Hall, feelin momentarily more positive, when A see the arse ae the S4 stickin oot. Yi never usually see Jamesy Maynard’s motor up here cos, unofficially at least, this is a McIntire patch. Somecunt hud obviously been talkin tae him n hud threw Broonie right under the bus. A pull intae a space rapid n duck doon low n watch tae see who they’re wae. It reverses n drives past me. The big cunt is in the back this time cos John McKenzie is sittin in the front.

PART VII

Scrap

There were 762 deaths by suicide in Scotland in 2012.

Suicide rates generally increase with increasing deprivation, with rates in the most deprived areas of Scotland significantly higher than the Scottish average.

Suicide rates in the most deprived decile were double the Scottish average.

‘Why is Suicide Prevention a priority in Scotland?’, Choose Life North Lanarkshire

Favours, Debts and Faust

Broonie knows his time is comin. He looks older the day. He’s sittin in ma bit smokin a fag, lookin oot ma windae. Jamesy hus been houndin him fur the tick money n the McIntires huv gone quiet. As always in these situations, A phoned Big Tam fur a few words ae wisdom, without tryin tae drag him intae this mess. It hud awready spiralled oot ae control. Tam told us tae come up tae his bit straight away.