‘Wit we gonnae dae, man? We’re gonnae git busted wae this dope!’ Wee Kenzie says, para rippin.

A gee Danny ma dope tae hod. ‘Toss that if yi need tae, mucker. Git ready tae bail up the back rapid, troops.’ Danny nods n sticks it in his Mera Peak.

‘Wit yi gonnae dae, Azzy?’

‘Watch this.’ Azzy boy wid take wan fur the troops. A glance doon tae make sure ma ain turbos ir tied n walk quickly oot fae ma hidin spot. They’re too busy lookin in the debris fur stashes n rustlin aboot in the big barn runnin adjacent. A sneak oot tae the beginnin ae the woods, stayin close tae the wall aw the way. A kin see the troops hidin in the arch, pishin their self laughin. The polis huvnae noticed me yit. Danny n Broonie’s heads ir pokin oot tae see wit’s happnin. ‘FUCKIN YOUNG TEAM, YA SCUMMY BASTARDS!’ A roar, geein them two middle fingers. The two ae them shite theirsels cos ma shout n the fat wan faws on the ice. A nearly pish maself laughin n start runnin like fuck.

‘MERE! YA WEE BASTARD!’ the fat wan, Muldoon, shouts as he pulls himself up. The young wan we call the Roadrunner is aff n runnin nearly at me awready. A’m aff like a two-bob rocket but this cunt is fast, legs gawn like Sonic the Hedgehog.

It’s just us two runnin among the skeletons ae trees against the snow. A’ve git a black AC Milan tracky on which isnae ideal camouflage. A’m oot ae breath noo but the Roadrunner is gainin on us n A think A’m caught. A run oot the woods n hear the whistle ae the wee blue fruit van. It’s chunterin up the street, no stoppin on the steep hill cos ae the ice. It’s git a wee platform on the back n open doors fur customers tae stand n collect their messages. Ma gran used tae gee me a pound fur a poke ae Spicy Bikers aff it n an Animal Bar or a wee cake ae chocolate, as she called it. A see ma escape n A sprint fur it n dive ontae the platform, lyin doon low. The Roadrunner tries tae charge up the hill, unstoppable as fuck like Robocop, n falls flat on his arse, his hat wheelin back doon the hill. A gee him two middle fingers tae the accompaniment ae the fruit van’s melodical chime. A only wish it wis The Great Escape theme tune rather than Yankee Doodle. That wid huv been magic.

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

A’ve hud a bad feelin aw day, which is even stronger than ma Friday Feelin – a force wae almost supernatural powers. Me, Broonie n Addison sloped as soon as the nine o’clock bell went. We met Danny, Kenzie n Finnegan later on. They call their class slots ‘sessions’ n we call ours ‘periods’. Yi wid hear them sayin, ‘session two or three.’ It sounded weird tae us cos they went tae the Catholic school. The day we hud been caught a beaut. Ma redgy teacher clicked on n the school phoned ma maw at work, tae let hur know n spoil hur day. Apparently, hur boss answered n put ma year head through wae a smug look. She hud been barkin at me since A came in the door.