Everycunt is hunched in noo, listenin in again tae Wee Kenzie’s story. Noo n again the door wull bang in the wind n everycunt wull jump. A wee bit ae paranoia is healthy in here. Yi never know who’s gonnae come through the doors. If they’ve git a radio n a black uniform, A’d be first oot the fuckin windae. Salmon-leap tae freedom fur the Azzy boy.

‘Aye so where wis A? Aye so that Jamesy Maynard’s sellin shit n then the McIntires think he’s tryin tae muscle in n they tan him a beaut. Big dirty wan right doon his cheek, sir.’

‘Phhft! Heard it!’ Danny shouts.

‘Naw honestly. These boys ir the heavies, man. Different level ae crazy … where wis A, man? FUCKIN PASS THAT, YOU!’ The joint gits handed over wae a grumble. It’s a heavy bad twoz.

Danny’s mutterin fuckin calm it, Janet under his breath. Noted hoggin bastard, Danny is. ‘Bring them oan fuck sake and the Toi wans n we’ll smash them aw!’

‘Danny, shut up, mate, honestly. Yi cannae bounce aboot sayin shit like that aboot these cunts. Somecunt in school wull grass yi fur name-drappin. They’ve git cousins galore n cunts that work fur them.’

‘Ooft, man, wouldnae mess wae they cunts.’

‘How the fuck dae yi know aw this, mate?’

‘Cos Tam told us obviously.’

‘Your big brother’s a fuckin busy man. Think he’s been tellin you ghost stories, mate.’

Everycunt laughs n they start settin up another joint in the Highlander packet. The slab ae Tennent’s gits ripped open and we aw take a tin each n pass a bottle ae Tonic aboot that we aw chipped in fur. Yi huv tae take aw these stories wae a pinch ae fuckin salt. Most ae the wans yi hear ir total fuckin cow dung. A few ae them ir true but. Yi huv tae be careful wit stories yi believe and repeat tae cunts. Cos the grapevine is thick n fast aboot here. Wee Kenzie wisnae talkin pish aboot that.

‘Mate, believe wit yees want, but ma big bro’s been roon the block a few times. Tam’s bought bits tae sell aff aw them. The elder wans in his day wur mad cunts. Pure nineties battles where that Toi wan ended up gittin stabbed aff a Young Team wan. Yees musty heard ae that wan? Fuckin famous troops fae the YTP. Yees huvnae even ran aboot wae the team yit n been in a battle.’

‘Who plugged him then … Tam? Sorry, fuckin Bruce Lee, furgot you’d smashed aw the Toi wans yirsel!’ A say, laughin.

‘Kenzie, you talk as if yir the tap man yirsel, cuz!’ Finnegan says.

Everybody knows Big Kenzie is his wee brur’s hero n it’s an easy shot, so yi huv tae take it. He knew more than aw us cos ae his big brur, but he lived aff Tam’s coat tails. There is always the distinct possibility that some ae his stories ir true. There is mad cunts aboot here tae watch fur n by natural selection some ir our enemies, which makes yi para. The stories aboot our elder Young Team wans gee yi confidence n make yi feel brave n part ae suhin. That’s the yin-yang balance.