“Don’t worry about it,” Dad says, leaning over to kiss my forehead and stroke my hair. “It’s not your fault. Max doesn’t care about his car—we’re just so relieved it wasn’t worse. You and Max are both fine, that’s all that matters.”

“But…how did he get home? How’s he going to get to work?”

“He’s been signed off work for a few days. He really is fine, just a nasty bump to the head.”

“So is he…?”

“He’s back at home with Julia, yes. Lena too. She came back when she heard about the accident.”

So all we need is for Jack to resurface and the whole gang will be back together. My throat closes. No, not the whole gang.

“You should be with Julia, not dealing with more crap.”

“Don’t, Tess—it was an accident. You couldn’t help it. Julia’s okay. She’s sleeping, she doesn’t know anything about it.” He glances at me as he starts the engine. “Max said…he mentioned something about the strain you’re under. Some trouble at work.”

I close my eyes and turn away, suppressing a surge of irritation. Max chose to tell Dad now? When his wife is dying and his daughter was just in a car accident? Who else has he told?

“It’s fine, Dad,” I say stiffly. “Seriously—it’s all sorted.” No need to tell him it’s sorted by me being fired.

We drive past a huddle of smokers ignoring the no smoking signs outside the front of the hospital. My hands are curled into fists on my lap. I could have killed Max, killed myself. The thought won’t go away, it keeps getting bigger, ballooning in my brain and my chest so I can barely breathe and I can’t think about anything else.

I still don’t understand what happened. I closed my eyes for a second—was I really asleep like Max said? The vision—the memory—of the house, someone chasing Bella, was so real and vivid. It has to be real, doesn’t it? But when did that happen? Was it the night of the wedding? Is that what sent Bella into the woods, me running after her? Were we running away from someone else? I try but I can’t see the person chasing her out of Dean House. All I can see is Bella, fear on her face as she ran in front of the car.

I shake my head. Memories coming back or not, I’m becoming a danger to more than just myself. I need to start taking those sleeping pills. Hallucinating, sleepwalking…and now I’d almost killed Max.