Max stares at me. “I can’t do this. I don’t need another messed-up woman in my life. Lena is enough to deal with. Coming here was a mistake. I thought I wanted…” He hesitates and I think he’s going to say something else, something big, but then he ducks his head. “Sorry, Tess.”

I could push it, but I don’t want to face the fact that this was just a one-night stand that Max already regrets. An awkward after-sex moment made more awkward by the fact that I literally ran out the door as soon as it was over. Did he really wake up because he sensed I was gone? Or did he wake up to sneak out only to find I’d beaten him to it? I tried to have sex with the Max I used to hero-worship but that’s not who fell asleep next to me. In my sleep-deprived paranoia, I see more than regret on his face. I see distaste.

I nod, take the coffee he holds out, turn away to drink it so he can’t see my face. “It’s okay—it’s fine. I get it.”

It’s no big deal. He’s not my first one-night stand, not the first man to walk out on me. Hell, it’s not like it’s the first time he’s walked out on me, is it? Where was he after Bella died? He left, disappeared. They all did. It was just me and Dad, Julia hovering on the edges, for such a long time.

“Jesus, Tess—don’t. Don’t do that. It was my fault. I could tell you weren’t into it, but I wanted…Lena warned me.”

“Warned you of what? Warned you against sleeping with me?”

“She said I shouldn’t try and make something happen, when…”

More secrets, more whispering behind my back. “I kissed you.”

“But what were we doing? Trying to rekindle something that never happened? I wanted some time with you away from the house, but I didn’t intend…”

Don’t, I want to say. Don’t tell me you felt sorry for me, don’t tell me you always knew I had a crush on you, that our half-assed sex was out of pity.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, hovering awkwardly. “But I’ll still give you a lift to the station.”

“You don’t have to. I can get the bus.”

“No, don’t be silly. I practically drive past it. I’ll wait for you to get ready.”

Now? We have to go now? I walk away from him, closing the bedroom door behind me and sinking onto the bed.