“Shit.”

“Yep. But…I’m still glad I came back.”

“How are Julia and your dad?”

I lean back against the pillows and close my eyes, soothed by the sympathy in her voice. It’s only eight in the morning—I’m amazed she answered; Sophie likes a lie-in on a Saturday. My eyes are gritty with tiredness—I can’t have slept more than two hours. “They’re…God, I was going to say they’re fine, that automatic ridiculous answer. But they’re not. Of course they’re not. Julia is dying—she’s so ill, it’s torture to see. And Dad. My poor, poor dad. He’s…struggling.”

“At least you’re there.”

“Yeah. I guess. What’s happening there?” My heart thumps as I wait for her answer. The pause before she speaks is too long.

“I…I don’t know really. I told Karen what’s happening with Julia. They’re holding off on things as long as they can.”

“So I don’t need to worry about being arrested at the funeral then?”

I’d meant it as a joke but there’s another pause. “I’m sure it won’t come to that.”

Those pauses. Her tone. Rebecca Martin’s parents must be making trouble. It doesn’t take a detective to interpret her silences.

“I feel so awful about what I did, Soph. I’m here and it’s like I’m sixteen again and remembering what I was like then. I can’t quite believe I did that to Rebecca. She’s a kid. I wish I could see her, try to explain…”

“Jesus, Tess—don’t even think it.”

“No, no, I’m not. I just wish I could go back in time and undo it.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

I sigh. “So, Max and Lena came back with me. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but Julia seemed so happy to see them. But they’re…they’re reminders of Bella. Every time I look at them, I see her.”

“How was it seeing your old boyfriend again?”

I snort. “He was never my boyfriend. But last night…It was weird. I was talking to him and Lena about Sean and…I think I was remembering things. From the night of Bella’s death.”

“Oh God, really? What did you remember?”

“I’m not sure. It was vague and muddled. I didn’t sleep last night, so my brain is a mess, which isn’t helping. It was a flash of us out in the woods, her yelling something at me. And I keep seeing this other moment. From the wedding, I think. Someone’s talking to me—a man. But I can’t make out the words or see their face. And now…” I grip my phone harder. “And now Julia wants to see her sons and although I don’t want them here, I’m thinking I should try…”

“For Julia?”