Julia is with me in the kitchen, both of us scraping potatoes for tonight’s supper. She’s noticeably thinner but she was determined to come downstairs to have dinner with everyone. Personally, I’m tempted to hop into the bed she was so insistent on leaving and hide under the covers until this awkward “family dinner” is well and truly over. Would anyone even notice? In the simmering tension between Julia and her sons, there’s little room for anything else.

“You know what I’d love?” Julia says, putting down the knife and potato she’s holding. “To have one more party. Not a big one, just family. And Max and Lena, of course. Maybe a couple of people from the village. One last hurrah—some champagne, a big curry or chili for everyone to help themselves. Some really loud music. Loud enough that we get complaints.”

I make myself smile. God, if she knew what was going on. “That sounds amazing. Why don’t we organize something—for the weekend, maybe?”

She shakes her head. “No, we can’t. Much as I’d love to.” She pauses. “Leo told me about Greg.”

“Oh.”

“I know you all wanted to keep it from me, he told me. But it was impossible really. The police want to speak to me as well.”

“I’m sorry. It’s…it’s so awful. Awful that he’s dead and that we’ve all thought he was alive and living his best life somewhere abroad and awful that you have to deal with this now as well as…”

“As well as dying myself?” She pushes the knife and bag of potatoes away from her. “I’ve been trying to work out how I feel. Shocked, yes. But should I be sad? I am, in a way. For Jack and Sean, mostly. And for Greg. I don’t want to think about what happened or how he must have suffered. I loved him. For such a long time I loved him. But that’s so far in the past. I think even the boys had come to terms with the fact that he was never coming back. But none of us thought…”

I put my hand over hers. There are tears in her eyes. “It’s okay to be sad about it, you know. Doesn’t matter how long the relationship had been over.”

She nods. “I know. I just don’t want Leo to see it.”

“You know, your party idea…it could be what everyone needs. Not a big thing with loud music, but maybe something smaller, a few drinks, everyone sharing stories about Greg and…” My voice trails off. What am I saying? That’s the last thing I want.